MORE THAN METAL

Iread something on social media the other day about how the humble passenger car, as we know it, is simply absurd. I quote: “In almost every way imaginable, the car, as it is deployed and used today, is insane.” Of course, a statement as blunt as that about my beloved cars quickly got my attention. The article went into plenty of detail about how cars have become the cause of “quiet catastrophe” — more deaths annually on the road than in any war America had ever fought in and the leading cause of death for those under age 35. It was exceptionally well written; in fact, for a moment I even believed that cars really were bad, and we’re all doomed because of them. In part, the writer may on some small level be correct. Yes, cars are an expensive asset that sit idle most of the time, the cause of injuries, and the cause of everything that’s wrong with the world. Except, clearly, the writer had never had any experience with a vehicle that was anything more than an A to B appliance. Cars with levels of performance that let you know you’re alive, by scaring you or at least upping the heart rate, old cars with their quirks and vagaries, or any vehicle modified with a personal touch are far more than the sum of their parts. Sure, in basic form, cars are made up of metal, rubber, glass, and, these days, a bunch of plastic, but if you’re a car lover they are so much more. They exude character, they have personality — for better or worse — and they’re a possession to be proud of. Sure, they may have injured a few, or many, people, but so have natural features such as oceans, mountains, and volcanoes — not to mention the fact that a far higher percentage of people around the world are exposed to cars than to war. Yes, cars also are a major consumer of dead liquid dinosaurs, and, yes, they are, when you spell it out, ridiculous, if you choose to think of them that way. For car lovers, such as you and me, though, they are life; they’re our release, our fun, our passion, our freedom; the way and reason we met many of our friends and our partners; the location of, and the transportation to, some of our greatest memories. Hell, some of us were even conceived in them, or due to them. Perhaps he’s got a point, though — maybe fewer people should be driving cars. Maybe those who see cars only as an appliance, or a necessary evil, should be banned from having the convenience of driving, thus losing the ability to depart or arrive at the time of their own choosing, in turn freeing up the roads for those of us who wish to feel alive behind the wheel and those who have more than a commercial relationship with our lumps of metal and rubber. Of course, that’d mean more gas and less traffic, too! Yep, cars are bad — tell all your non-car-loving friends to ditch theirs today …

Catch you next month, Todd todd@v8.co.nz