IMPURE THOUGHTS

You’ll recall last month, I began spouting the virtues of a good mechanical breakdown insurance policy, and that the first lesson is to be awake to what the policy you’re looking at covers.

There are some comprehensive MBI policies that cover pretty well everything on a vehicle (with the obvious exception of ‘service parts’ such as tyres, brake pads, and brake rotors). Conversely, many — in fact, probably most — policies exclude damn near everything that’s most likely to go wrong, such as air suspension systems, electric seat motors, window motors, and stereo equipment, so pretty much all you’re left with is a bare-bones policy that covers you if the engine or gearbox quits. The first thing that crapped out on my Mercedes was the air suspension system. No cover. Grrrr…

Another difference in MBI policies is the maximum amount per claim they cover. A good cover can provide $10,000 worth of cover per claim, with an excess as low as $500. The cheaper policies contain small print that requires a huge excess ($1000 in some policies) on every claim, and a low maximum amount per claim (some policies as low as $5000). A $5000 claim limit, of course, goes nowhere in the event of a major engine or transmission failure, which you might get on, say, a BMW 750i. And then, as with any industry, there are reputable MBI providers, and there are not-so-reputable MBI providers. Sound like a minefield? It is. Here’s all you need to know: Autosure Extreme Plus. Go and write that down somewhere for the next time you buy a second-hand car, and tell the dealer that’s what you want. If the dealer tells you he can’t provide it, tell them you’ll go and buy a car from the guy down the road who can provide an Autosure Extreme Plus policy. Why am I sounding like a commission-based Autosure salesman? Because I bought one with the BMW after hearing some good news stories about it, and they looked after me like a newborn baby all the way through the crapped-out transmission process. “No problem,” said my contact Phil.

“Take it to Continental BMW, and they’ll send us the invoice.” Easy as that. When I had to ring Phil back again and tell him that the $5K cheque Autosure just wrote to the BMW dealer didn’t fix a damn thing, I got told again, “No problem. Take it to Hutt Automatics in Wellington. They’ll send us the invoice.” Autosure — and their man Phil — were bloody fantastic.

If I’d had a lesser warranty (with a $1000 excess, and the $5000 per claim limit), that transmission experience would have cost me close to $8000. But because I paid a thousand bucks more for a top-of-the-line policy, my contribution to that shitstorm was just over $2000. On the subject of cost, take care not to get rorted on the price of the policy. Some dealers will add 100 percent to their buy price. In my mind, everyone wins if you take a good MBI policy, and I wouldn’t pay any more than $4000 for a three-year Autosure Extreme Plus policy. At that, the dealer is still getting a slice of the action.

After owning the BMW 750i for four months, and having had only three weeks of use out of it, I was — as you could imagine — pretty bloody dark again on BMWs and European cars.

Bloody Euro rubbish! How the hell can a transmission shit itself in only 51,000kms?!

Unimaginable! Would you ever hear of that happening to a good old Holden or Falcon? Of course not. Well… actually… you might… I asked the guy at Hutt Automatics what was going on, and he explained that the 750i has a ZF transmission (called a 6HP26), and this exact same transmission is also fitted to Jaguars, Range Rovers, and… Ford FG Falcons.

And the ZFs aren’t choosy — they crap out on all of those vehicles.

So, do I blame the BMW? Hard to know… What I do know, however, is that the whole drama was resolved around four months ago, and the car has been nothing short of perfect ever since. After regaining some confidence in it, which took a couple of months (during which time I’d decided it was going to quickly make way for a boring but reliable Lexus LS460), I’ve pretty much forgiven the BMW for its poor behaviour, and have really enjoyed driving it. So much so that I haven’t given too much thought just yet as to what I might replace it with.

Every time I drive it now, I’m in awe that it’s possible for tightwads like me to have this pinnacle of luxury and performance for the price of a 10-year-old Toyota Camry.

I’ll give the BMW another few months to see if there are any more twists and turns in this story, and base my decision on that. Whatever replaces the 750i at the end of this year, there’s one sure thing — it’ll have a V8 under the hood, and I’ll continue to consume my share of the planet’s remaining fuel supplies before I’ve fallen off my perch, or before you and I can’t afford to run an internal combustion engine anymore.

“…IT’LL HAVE A V8 UNDER THE HOOD…”