Edgar of Arabia
Normally at the conclusion of another strenuous racing season, Edgar Jessop preferred to slink away to his quiet cottage at Padstow on the Cornish Coast, where he could tend to his prized petunias and oversee the latest batch of spirit from the small distillery in his spare bedroom.
The still had previously been located in the garage, the garden shed, and in the attic, but all had been substantially damaged by explosions due to experimentation with sundry botanicals and alcohol levels. Often these incidents occurred while Edgar was otherwise occupied with racing, leaving the local fire brigade (the chief of which, Harry Groin, was a personal friend and big fan of Edgar’s prized Single Grain whiskey) to extinguish the blaze and ensure word of the incident did not reach the Excise Board, which took a dim view of home production. And so it was with deep disappointment that Edgar accepted a directive from Sir Carruthers Spagforth that he represent the company, in what the guvnor described as “a key export market” by competing in the Grand Prix of Luxor on a Spagforth Sphinx. This was to be conducted as part of the weeklong Feast of the Pharaohs, the race itself covering 800 miles with only refuelling and comfort stops permitted. Worse still, the December date fell directly in the middle of Edgar’s usual holiday period, but no amount of protestation could sway the decision, and with the Spagforth Sphinx safely stowed in the hold, Edgar sailed out of Liverpool for Cairo as scores of lucky British holiday markers packed their caravans and headed for the seaside where they could roll their trousers up for wading at low tide and eat Brighton Rock.
Although the competition for the GP de Luxor was considerable, Edgar rated his chances highly and did little in the way of training, but did make his first port of call the Al Ahram distillery, which had produced its Devlin brand whiskey since 1897. That visit lasted rather longer than expected, and Edgar made it to the starting line with mere minutes to spare, as anxious mechanics warmed up the Sphinx. After almost 24 hours in the saddle, and frequently out of it, a bedraggled and exhausted Edgar struggled over the finish line to victory with a margin of 4 hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds over the only other finisher, the Egyptian Champion Omar Goodniss, on an exItalian Army Benelli. At the lavish prize giving, Edgar was presented with a trophy of a snuff bowl and cigar box made from a ram’s head, descried as priceless but also as tasteless. Rather than suffer the wrath of Egyptologists for removing an historic artefact from the country, Edgar returned to Al Ahram and swapped it for a case of Devlin, before hot-footing it to Alexandra to board his waiting vessel.
With the Spagforth Sphinx once again secured on board, Edgar sailed for home, wasting no time in hotfooting it to Padstow where he relaxed into the spare bedroom and was not seen for a week. ■