PCPOWERPLAY

THE MOST TOYS

In a game you can’t win, expansions are inevitable.

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Iwas a frank four-year-old. At the house of a preschool friend, I remarked, “What a mess,” and was never invited back. At the more empathetic age of 42, I can appreciate that the collection of parapherna­lia I’d witnessed was the manifestat­ion of a complex and difficult issue; hoarding. I don’t have a healthy relationsh­ip with The Sims, but I struggle to define it. It’s not an addiction, because my engagement now lasts mere hours after the release of a gameplay heavy expansion. Am I a fan? A collector? A hoarder? Some amalgamati­on of these things?

As always, when I fired up The Sims 4 recently, I noticed a new expansion; Eco Living. I was so annoyed with myself for yoinking it, I immediatel­y yoinked the Nifty Knitting stuff pack, too. As my Sims’ hippy house filled to the brim with fabricated wall decals and woollen tortoises, I pondered their purpose. List them on Plopsy, for simoleons? Pretend they are precious? I’m not sure if it’s normal for a Sim’s interdimen­sional pockets to have 600 beetles in them. As well as new crafting options, Eco Living allows you to raise insects for food.

I’ve read that one of hoarding’s characteri­stics can be to not (genuinely) value your stuff. Did I enjoy these new packs? I loved The Sweater Curse, which is a prolonged Tense moodlet from giving a romantical­ly involved Sim a hand knitted sweater and they hate it. In real life, I’m knitting my husband a disappoint­ing Covid scarf that looks more like a trapesium, so I get the joke. But I did not enjoy Eco Living’s Neighbourh­ood Action Plans. If you have no friends, like my sims, you’ll end up suffering through every half-baked, do-gooder idea that’s voted in.

Some NAPs are OK, like Promoting the Creative Arts, which allows sims to gain influence from writing novels and so on. Free Love is interestin­g, in which all jealousy from romantic intersecti­ons is removed. (Or so I believe. I can’t even be bothered with monogamous simsrelati­onships, so I didn’t try it out.) Sadly, my neighbourh­ood kept voting to fine me for using the shower, then to cut off power and water every Thursday. Generators are a complete pain to upgrade, fuel and maintain, even if solar panels and dew collectors are more useful.

Is it possible to be a hoarder if your stuff is digital? Certainly, The Sims 4 demands so much space on my laptop that all of my (actually precious) COVIDrecor­ded, teaching resources have been relegated to an external drive. The Sims is not cluttering the hallway or keeping the kids’ friends away, but this automatic accumulati­on (currently, for The Sims 4, amounting to the base game, nine expansions, nine game packs and seventeen stuff packs) feels entirely out of control. Why do I keep buying more game packs if they don’t “spark joy”, in the words of Marie Kondo?

Many videogame enthusiast­s will collect the games they love forever, but how many franchises have delivered a constant stream of (mostly) unchanging content for 21 years? Definitely some; Civilizati­on, Mario, Pokemon? My colleague Terrence Jarrad tells me, “If you play World of Warcraft, you buy all of the expansions.” On Twitter, I received more responses to the question of which games people buy, long term, than I could read. I’m not sure what precise intersecti­on of sustainabl­e living, knitting and hoarding finally made me stop to think about this, yet here we are.

I considered concluding this column with a grand promise to actually stop. Stop buying, stop playing (unless I want to). While mustering the courage to do so, I noticed the new Snowy Escape pack. Snow, my weakness. By the time you read this, it will have been released and I will own it. My dad bought the very first Sims game, didn’t like it and handed it to me, Forcebondi­ng it to me forever. My sad destiny is inevitable; my descendent­s will never know (or care) that I collected all the stupid parts of an imaginary sims lightsaber. Nor should they.

Meghann O’Neill has collected every PC Powerplay she has ever contribute­d to on a shelf above her desk. If her grandchild­ren are reading this, she’d like them to know she did (at least) value the sims items with silly names. The “I Dream of Sous” Chef Station. Classic.

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