EARTH DEFENSE FORCE 5
There’s something to be said for the Japanese budget titles of the early noughties. Specifically, the no-frills approach of the Simple series, whose games cut straight to whatever nonsense was promised by their covers. Who among us doesn’t have fond memories of mindlessly slashing through zombies in OneeChanbara? Of course, yours truly was only in it for the hack-and-slash gameplay. Monster Attack, as the first Earth Defense Force game was known over here, released in 2004 and plonked you straight into the middle of a playable B-movie to blast away giant ants invading a city. It was cheap and cheerful cheesy goodness. With gaming looking very different today, there’s certainly something to be said for such a title released in 2018. Given the series’ purposefully dated premise, it makes sense that not much has received an upgrade in the intervening years.
Series fans will be pleased to hear this entry runs the most smoothly to date… but we still can’t help wincing as the framerate chugs during especially busy missions and the seconds tick by before textures pop in.
Thankfully, every aspect of Earth Defense Force 5 is in on the joke. From giant jumping spiders to alien ships and towering frogmen, there’s decent variety to the ridiculous kaiju threats you go up against. Your AI comrades bemoan the fact they can’t take that long-planned trip abroad due to, y’know, the global pest problem, and an eye-rolling fake-out with a blast door clues you in to what tier of schlock to expect. Unfortunately your fellow soldiers aren’t the brightest bunch and often all wind up dead by the end of any mission. The over-thetop heights of later missions, where you’re exploding spaceships and trying to avoid being chewed up by oversized insectoids, is best shared.
SINGE YOUR WINGS
Team OPM mixes and matches classes but the Wing Diver is our favourite. The jetpack gives this class the edge over all others, allowing you to fully appreciate the scale of the stages. The Wing Diver’s selection of firepower, from homing missiles to charged multi-shot weapons, coupled with its range of movement makes it the go-to class. The other, more ground-based, ones simply can’t compete. However, after a story timeskip, we couldn’t help but question why members of this all-female unit ditch their practical jumpsuits for avant garde armour and itty bitty denim shorts.
Hotpants aside, the game struggles noticeably during busy split-screen play, but co-op as two Wing Divers co-ordinating to take back the Earth presents it at its… uh, best? Which is to say, despite introducing some questionable uniforms, it isn’t going to recruit any new EDF members to the cause but it’ll certainly satisfy hardened veterans.
“THERE’S DECENT VARIETY TO THE RIDICULOUS KAIJU THREATS YOU GO UP AGAINST.”