TWO POINT HOSPITAL
The Doctor will see you now
The 20th anniversary of the Sims has brought back the itch that this hospital management game advises we scratch. Our sister publications have been enjoying this spiritual successor to Theme Hospital on their respective platforms for a while but this port is for the specialists, presenting the base game plus all DLC in one easy treatment plan.
As an enterprising hospital manager, you are presented with a hollow shell of a hospital. It’s up to you to hire staff, build facilities, and maybe help some patients. Each soon-to-be-fine-establishment presents challenges that stand between you and that elusive three-star reputation. 1 You quickly find yourself in that classic management sim gameplay loop, and the revised user interface for PS4 presents little to snap you out of your happy place.
That allows humour to take centre stage. Illnesses bear no resemblance to real maladies, instead gunning for the pun to groan-worthy effect (Misery Guts? Denim Genes?). Running with that tone, potential hires present traits that could either prove a benefit or a brain ache to your institution. Unfortunately, despite details like ‘dances like tomorrow is a real possibility,’ ‘Believes they saw, and had lunch with, a yeti,’ ‘Sleep gallops,’ and ‘sniffs own farts… and likes it’, 2 they’ll get lost in the crowd. That is to say, between your staff and the by-the-numbers building options, there’s little opportunity for the emergent story moments the genre is known for. Mind you, when there’s an epidemic of Mock
Stars swaggering through your halls, it’s not such a bad crowd to get lost in. Jess Kinghorn