UNCHARTED: DRAKE’S FORTUNE REMASTERED

Don’t like it. Never tried it. Every month we force one of our team to play their most feared game

Treasure hunting’s great, right? Who doesn’t love Indiana Jones? Even so, despite everyone acclaiming his fourth game as a masterpiece, I’ve always been reluctant to get to grips with Nathan Drake.

So here I am, right at the beginning of his story. He’s opening a coffin.

As a lapsed goth, I can respect that. He’s found a book. As a keen reader, I approve of that. And now we’re getting shot at by pirates! I am not in any way pleased about that. This is clearly supposed to teach me how to shoot, but it teaches me two more things: that I don’t like shooting, and I’m rubbish at it. (These things may be related.) It’s a relief when Sully comes to my rescue.

Next Sully and I explore a ruined temple. This is more like it! Scrambling over carvings and venturing into dark tunnels is fun. Nate and Sully may look disturbingly rubbery with inhumanly glassy eyes, betraying the game’s PS3 origins, but the temple is well done, and pushing carvings and shooting braziers to get further into its interior is fun, even if I am doing the hard work while Sully saunters along behind. Then… A Nazi submarine! This is cool. Even escaping Sully’s creditors is enjoyable.

And then I’m in a shootout in the jungle while looking for Elena, and the game isn’t as much fun for me any more. The bad guys just keep coming, Nate just keeps dying, and I have to repeat the shootout over and over to get through it. From here on, it feels the same: for every snippet of story, I spend ages getting killed repeatedly. I hate it, but I’m stubborn. Every so often I go back, thinking, “How many times will I watch Nate die before quitting this time?” And then suddenly I can do it. It feels… good. Nate, my old chum, we are going to have some wonderful adventures together.

THE BAD GUYS JUST KEEP COMING, AND NATE JUST KEEPS DYING.

Given this is a remaster of a PS3 game, it doesn’t look bad, unnaturally sparkly eyes and rubbery flesh aside. Uncharted’s as much about the action and script as the looks, and it excels at those.

Miriam McDonald loves a good adventure story, though she’s not sure she wants to have too much adventure herself. Stepping into Nathan Drake’s shoes might show her otherwise.