EMILIA FAHLIN

FDJ NOUVELLE AQUITAINE

“I should have been racing by now. That was the ‘normal’ plan. But things don’t always go to plan, unfortunately”

I’ll be frank with you guys. I owe you that. It sort of comes with what I wrote about last month, and the whole reason of writing and sharing a personal diary: the true, honest journey. And mine hasn’t been all smooth sailing lately. As you all can see if you look further down here, my number of race days is still zero, and my absolute stagnation of kilometres is quite obvious.

I should’ve been racing by now. That was the ‘normal’ plan. But things don’t always go to plan, unfortunately, even though that’s what we strive for.

Coming home from my first training camp for the year with my new team, I got sick. That’s definitely never what you plan for as a cyclist. Health is everything in sport. Because, as you all probably logically can comprehend when reading this magazine, we need and depend on our bodies in order to be able to do the job.

And mine said, ‘No.’

I took a good amount of rest. This is one thing I’ve been through a lot of times, sadly, earlier in my career. And that’s what’s always been, in my eyes, the limit for me to find my full potential. Last year, or maybe even the last two, it really clicked for me. I could finally train and race without my body letting me down way too often. And I loved it. It paid off. I had a complete other level on the bike, and also in terms of results.

So therefore I’m now ‘smart’ enough to know it’s so important to listen to the signals and what your body is telling you. Rather then just push on. And beyond. So I had to make sure I fully recovered before starting up training again.

I should’ve done four days racing in Valencia in February. And I also missed the ‘real’, crazy spring-season opener, Het Nieuwsblad. But I’m calm. I’ll just start racing a couple of weeks later, confidently knowing I did the right thing, the only thing, to do. And my new team have backed me 100 per cent in this situation. That is something I’ve never had before.

Accepting that you have to stay patient is the hardest challenge at first. But if you’re forced to, you’ll learn it, eventually. And it’s the best thing you can ever get your head around to. That sense of sense, if that makes sense?! The calm. And this is something I’d also like to try and pass on to my young team-mates this year. To accept your own journey and learn from the obstacles you have to pass on the way.