EMILIA FAHLIN

FDJ-NOUVELLE AQUITAINE

The spring season takes its toll on cyclists. Mentally, it’s game-on for many weeks – races mixed up with lots of travel and days at the airport straight after long days in pouring rain, cold and even crazy hail in this year’s Tour de Yorkshire. I seriously don’t know how I got through these races without sickness. Just doing that was a small win on its own.

My body started feeling empty after Yorkshire. I stayed to recon this year’s Worlds road race course the day after, so I got an even harder tour myself. Luckily, I shared it with two team-mates and had the biggest motivation to push the pedals in the tight airport schedule and massive plate of fish and chips we had just before hitting bed the day before. Oh. And a sticky toffee pudding. Some days you do deserve a treat to keep your head happy, to warm yourself up and to make yourself feel human again. After the Tour de Yorkshire, this was the way!

I pushed myself through to Luxembourg to race Festival Elsy Jacobs with sh*t sensations, but managed a seventh, a fifth and then my first podium of the year with a very close second place in the last stage. I was drained of energy and disappointed I was only a centimetre away from my first win.

Finally, I took a small break after Luxembourg. It’s important for me to land. Take a breather. My body and mind were screaming for it. But man! It can be hard to come back in to it. I think, and hope, but I’m pretty convinced we all sometimes struggle to get out the door for that one ride. Or sometimes, speaking for myself, it can also be in plural: rides.

Motivation is not just for free, and no rider always feels 100 per cent. It’s something that I find can go a bit like a calm wave, in small ups and downs. When it’s not fully there you’ve got to work actively on it, because as a professional athlete the work simply needs to get done and it’s way more fun if you’re motivated and in the mood to kill the ride and the session.

I felt quite sh*t getting back to it, to be honest. The hours were going slower than normal. But I got it done. The last day of my block I was tired and had one of those days where it took a lot of mental energy just to get changed, making sure it wasn’t going to rain anywhere, before I got out the door for five hours of riding. But finally after three hours on the bike, I found a little flow again. A spark of good sensations that have been missing lately – this is what I need to feel a little more “on it” in my head again.

Then, bang. It suddenly happened. I crashed downhill at high speed and hit the back of my head. So now I’ve got myself a bigger challenge for the rest of the season. I’m building motivation from a hospital bed – the only climbing I’m doing is up the walls. Now I’d be more than happy to be able to go out and ride five hours.