Q life: with GABRIEL TABASCO

Trashy Talk Shows and Horny Magazines of the 1990s

Trashy TV and adult magazines were all the rage in the 1990s and early 2000s. Back then we did not have Netflix and the Internet was in its infancy. As a result TV was saturated with trashy and horny TV shows, adverts and pop videos. Whereas now we watch rubbish on the Internet in the '90s everyone watched it together after dinner, late on a Friday night.

In Take That's music video ‘Do What U Like' the five singers smeared each other in jelly before revealing their white buttocks. People were so shocked it was banned from daytime TV. Simon Rex, a budding singer with a boy-next-door look, made three solo jerk-off videos before becoming an MTV presenter. Marky Mark was known for taking off his briefs on stage. At one event, with back to the audience, one band-mate lowered his black underwear revealing his perfectly pert buttocks. Duran Duran's Warren Cuccurullo posed proudly in a shower, showing off his extra-large member and talking about the dildo that was modelled on him.

Adverts were just as titillating. Lucozade's 'Full Mounties' advert showed oiled-up men wearing nothing but a hat covering their private parts. In a Yorkshire accent one Mountie said that he 'always keeps his valuables under his hat' before removing it to reveal a bottle of Lucozade. The underwear brand Sloggi featured footage from the Pamplona bull-run where one man was caught on the bull's horns. After a thorough shake down the bull removed the man's jeans and y-fronts, revealing his bottom, as the crowd laughed.

Viewers on Dame Edna's talk show 'Neighbourhood Watch' were shown inside contestants' houses. One evening, as we watched Dame Edna make funny comments on the decor of one home, the bathroom curtains were drawn back revealing her supposed personal trainer. As he showered the camera zoomed in on his small, toned buttocks. The audience of middle-aged women roared with glee at the perfectly-staged act.

On his talk show, Graham Norton went one step further by having a man from the audience body-painted. ‘Don't worry, it would be tastefully done' Graham assured the nervous man. At the end of the show the man was on stage, completely naked and covered in body-point. After a split moment where the world saw his willy, he covered it up.

Spanish evening talk shows often featured a segment of male strippers dancing around naked. Similarly one Dutch TV show featured a panel of ladies judge three male strippers. They chose the best-looking but not the most-endowed man.

One UK morning talk show featured one segment where at least a dozen men were lined up wearing their underwear. The presenter had to decide which man was wearing the best paid She probably had the best job in the world that morning.

Every Friday night I watched the game show Gladiators. With muscles bulging out of their Lycra I could not help but enjoy seeing the penis outline of hunks named Cobra, Hunter, Rhino, Saracen and Trojan. On the one-off TV show for Shirley Bassey, the same hunky Gladiators posed around the Welsh dive in their Lycra, as she waltzed around them touching their muscles. Their act was followed male dancers twirling around her wearing next to nothing.

Such audaciousness infiltrated print media as well. When David Beckham mentioned he wore his wife's thongs (the European not the Australian version of the word) one UK tabloid newspaper ran a piece on the topic showing five ordinary men wearing nothing but thongs. 'Hurts my bot' said one man. A men's magazine ran a piece where four men were concealed behind a screen with only their dicks on show as their girlfriends had to guess whose cock was whose. The magazines printed a close up of their penises, faces along with the nicknames for their dicks (Chipolata, Grizzly, Pudge...). If only Brett, (the editor), would allow something like that for Q Magazine!

Playgirl magazine printed nude images of male models posing on a yacht, fixing a car with faux-grease stains or standing on a mountaintop naked but for ski boots. However the magazine also had a 'real man' section where men sent in their naked photos. Compared to the perfectly-coiffed hair and toned bodies of the models, the real men of Playgirl were pictured posing on their couch naked, holding a beer, standing in their shower giving a thumbs up or hiking wearing only the prerequisite boots.

Racier still was Brazil's 'G Magazine' which was explicitly gay-oriented and featured endless spreads of Brazilian soccer-players literally and figuratively spread across its glossy pages, naked and aroused, posing on the pitch or playing with a soccer ball before playing with their own balls. The magazine featured contestants from reality TV shows who looked to extend their 15 minutes of fame by showing their extended member. It was harmless, erotic fun.

Today everything is a lot glossier with new content replacing what was published the previous day. However remnants of the kitschy 1990s and early 2000s can be found in the treasure troves of the Internet. After some research I am sharing the links with you below.

Links: Marky Mark - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgzsmo0HcsM - min: 3:50 Warren Cuccurullo - (Explicit) - https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=843230372 Lucozade - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OeX3duL1r8 Dame Edna - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjFVr-OUuW8 - min 18:30 Shirley Bassey - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hbz5yzPbmis - min 17:07 and 20:30 Playgirl - (Explicit) - http://welclometomyworld0426.blogspot.com/search/label/Real%20Men G Magazine - (Explicit) - http://gmagazinetributo.tumblr.com