Q life: with GABRIEL TABASCO

Trashy Talk Shows and Horny Mag­a­zines of the 1990s

Q Magazine - - Q Life: -

Trashy TV and adult mag­a­zines were all the rage in the 1990s and early 2000s. Back then we did not have Net­flix and the In­ter­net was in its in­fancy. As a re­sult TV was sat­u­rated with trashy and horny TV shows, ad­verts and pop videos. Whereas now we watch rub­bish on the In­ter­net in the '90s ev­ery­one watched it to­gether af­ter din­ner, late on a Fri­day night.

In Take That's mu­sic video ‘Do What U Like' the five singers smeared each other in jelly be­fore re­veal­ing their white but­tocks. Peo­ple were so shocked it was banned from day­time TV. Si­mon Rex, a bud­ding singer with a boy-next-door look, made three solo jerk-off videos be­fore be­com­ing an MTV pre­sen­ter. Marky Mark was known for tak­ing off his briefs on stage. At one event, with back to the au­di­ence, one band-mate low­ered his black un­der­wear re­veal­ing his per­fectly pert but­tocks. Duran Duran's War­ren Cuc­cu­rullo posed proudly in a shower, show­ing off his ex­tra-large mem­ber and talk­ing about the dildo that was mod­elled on him.

Ad­verts were just as tit­il­lat­ing. Lu­cozade's 'Full Moun­ties' ad­vert showed oiled-up men wear­ing noth­ing but a hat cov­er­ing their pri­vate parts. In a York­shire ac­cent one Moun­tie said that he 'al­ways keeps his valu­ables un­der his hat' be­fore re­mov­ing it to re­veal a bot­tle of Lu­cozade. The un­der­wear brand Sloggi fea­tured footage from the Pam­plona bull-run where one man was caught on the bull's horns. Af­ter a thor­ough shake down the bull re­moved the man's jeans and y-fronts, re­veal­ing his bot­tom, as the crowd laughed.

View­ers on Dame Edna's talk show 'Neigh­bour­hood Watch' were shown in­side con­tes­tants' houses. One evening, as we watched Dame Edna make funny com­ments on the decor of one home, the bath­room cur­tains were drawn back re­veal­ing her sup­posed per­sonal trainer. As he show­ered the cam­era zoomed in on his small, toned but­tocks. The au­di­ence of mid­dle-aged women roared with glee at the per­fectly-staged act.

On his talk show, Gra­ham Nor­ton went one step fur­ther by hav­ing a man from the au­di­ence body-painted. ‘Don't worry, it would be taste­fully done' Gra­ham as­sured the ner­vous man. At the end of the show the man was on stage, com­pletely naked and cov­ered in body-point. Af­ter a split mo­ment where the world saw his willy, he cov­ered it up.

Span­ish evening talk shows of­ten fea­tured a seg­ment of male strip­pers danc­ing around naked. Sim­i­larly one Dutch TV show fea­tured a panel of ladies judge three male strip­pers. They chose the best-look­ing but not the most-en­dowed man.

One UK morn­ing talk show fea­tured one seg­ment where at least a dozen men were lined up wear­ing their un­der­wear. The pre­sen­ter had to de­cide which man was wear­ing the best paid She prob­a­bly had the best job in the world that morn­ing.

Ev­ery Fri­day night I watched the game show Gla­di­a­tors. With mus­cles bulging out of their Ly­cra I could not help but en­joy see­ing the pe­nis out­line of hunks named Co­bra, Hunter, Rhino, Sara­cen and Tro­jan. On the one-off TV show for Shirley Bassey, the same hunky Gla­di­a­tors posed around the Welsh dive in their Ly­cra, as she waltzed around them touch­ing their mus­cles. Their act was fol­lowed male dancers twirling around her wear­ing next to noth­ing.

Such au­da­cious­ness in­fil­trated print me­dia as well. When David Beck­ham men­tioned he wore his wife's thongs (the Euro­pean not the Aus­tralian ver­sion of the word) one UK tabloid news­pa­per ran a piece on the topic show­ing five or­di­nary men wear­ing noth­ing but thongs. 'Hurts my bot' said one man. A men's mag­a­zine ran a piece where four men were con­cealed be­hind a screen with only their dicks on show as their girl­friends had to guess whose cock was whose. The mag­a­zines printed a close up of their penises, faces along with the nick­names for their dicks (Chipo­lata, Griz­zly, Pudge...). If only Brett, (the ed­i­tor), would al­low some­thing like that for Q Mag­a­zine!

Play­girl mag­a­zine printed nude images of male mod­els pos­ing on a yacht, fix­ing a car with faux-grease stains or stand­ing on a moun­tain­top naked but for ski boots. How­ever the mag­a­zine also had a 'real man' sec­tion where men sent in their naked pho­tos. Com­pared to the per­fectly-coiffed hair and toned bod­ies of the mod­els, the real men of Play­girl were pic­tured pos­ing on their couch naked, hold­ing a beer, stand­ing in their shower giv­ing a thumbs up or hik­ing wear­ing only the pre­req­ui­site boots.

Racier still was Brazil's 'G Mag­a­zine' which was ex­plic­itly gay-ori­ented and fea­tured end­less spreads of Brazil­ian soc­cer-play­ers lit­er­ally and fig­u­ra­tively spread across its glossy pages, naked and aroused, pos­ing on the pitch or play­ing with a soc­cer ball be­fore play­ing with their own balls. The mag­a­zine fea­tured con­tes­tants from re­al­ity TV shows who looked to ex­tend their 15 min­utes of fame by show­ing their ex­tended mem­ber. It was harm­less, erotic fun.

To­day ev­ery­thing is a lot glossier with new con­tent re­plac­ing what was pub­lished the pre­vi­ous day. How­ever rem­nants of the kitschy 1990s and early 2000s can be found in the trea­sure troves of the In­ter­net. Af­ter some re­search I am shar­ing the links with you be­low.

Links: Marky Mark - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sgzs­mo0HcsM - min: 3:50 War­ren Cuc­cu­rullo - (Ex­plicit) - https://www.pornhub.com/view_video.php?viewkey=843230372 Lu­cozade - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OeX3­duL1r8 Dame Edna - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HjFVr-OUuW8 - min 18:30 Shirley Bassey - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hbz5yzPb­mis - min 17:07 and 20:30 Play­girl - (Ex­plicit) - http://wel­clome­to­my­world0426.blogspot.com/search/la­bel/Real%20Men G Mag­a­zine - (Ex­plicit) - http://gmagazinetrib­uto.tum­blr.com

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