With Shannon New­ley


IT’S been the same story for me ev­ery year since about my mid-20s.

That’s when I lost the abil­ity to eat and drink what­ever I wanted and not gain any weight. But that is no more.

A desk job, an ac­quired taste for red wine and dwin­dling youth­ful­ness have led me down a path of re­lent­less weight gain.

I know, I know. What a cliche, right? Yet another mid-30s woman who spends spring freak­ing out about what she’ll look like in sum­mer, gets to Novem­ber only to re­alise it’s too late and she’ll just have to have another crack at a beach body next year.

Au­tumn is not too bad but then it’s June and the win­ter ki­los sneak on and, all of a sud­den, I am buy­ing clothes a size too big be­cause the thought of look­ing at my­self in the mir­ror wear­ing my ill-fit­ting cur­rent wardrobe is just too much.

Then I think, well I have this lovely new wardrobe worth a great deal of money, if I lose weight and it is all too big, I’ll have wasted all of that hard-earned coin.

Then win­ter is over and the spring-spi­ral starts all over again.


I have fi­nally ad­mit­ted a cou­ple of im­por­tant things to my­self.

Num­ber 1: My abil­ity to lose weight by eat­ing ev­ery­thing and do­ing noth­ing has passed. It’s time to move on and give up all hope that it shall re­turn.

Num­ber 2: Just own­ing a gym mem­ber­ship is not enough, you ac­tu­ally have to go there.

Num­ber 3: When you get to the gym, you ac­tu­ally have to do stuff. A leisurely 20-minute walk on the tread­mill and lift­ing a cou­ple of weights ain’t go­ing to cut it.

Num­ber 4: My butt doesn’t know the dif­fer­ence be­tween half a tub of cook­ies and cream ice cream and a bot­tle of wine. Calo­ries are calo­ries. So cut­ting back on wine only to sub­sti­tute in ice cream is not a weight-loss strat­egy. And do­ing Num­ber 3 on this list doesn’t negate the con­sump­tion of ei­ther the ice cream or wine.

Since I have ad­mit­ted th­ese weight-re­lated re­al­i­ties to my­self, I’ve ac­tu­ally dropped a dress size.

Of course it’s not the ad­mis­sion that made

My butt doesn’t know the dif­fer­ence be­tween half a tub of cook­ies and cream ice cream and a bot­tle of wine

it so; it’s three trips a week to a per­sonal trainer and it’s cut­ting back on the wine con­sump­tion (which is, of course, how I can af­ford the PT).

And while I may not quite have a beach body for this sum­mer, for the first time in a decade I feel like I am on the right track and I’ve kicked the spring-spi­ral and the win­ter weight gain, I hope.

Now, I guess I’ll have to go out and buy a new wardrobe... again.

*End note – the au­thor of this col­umn would hap­pily eat ice cream in a bikini at the beach if she looked like the woman in the photo.

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