THE LAST WORD
With Shannon Newley
IT’S been the same story for me every year since about my mid-20s.
That’s when I lost the ability to eat and drink whatever I wanted and not gain any weight. But that is no more.
A desk job, an acquired taste for red wine and dwindling youthfulness have led me down a path of relentless weight gain.
I know, I know. What a cliche, right? Yet another mid-30s woman who spends spring freaking out about what she’ll look like in summer, gets to November only to realise it’s too late and she’ll just have to have another crack at a beach body next year.
Autumn is not too bad but then it’s June and the winter kilos sneak on and, all of a sudden, I am buying clothes a size too big because the thought of looking at myself in the mirror wearing my ill-fitting current wardrobe is just too much.
Then I think, well I have this lovely new wardrobe worth a great deal of money, if I lose weight and it is all too big, I’ll have wasted all of that hard-earned coin.
Then winter is over and the spring-spiral starts all over again.
NOT THIS TIME.
I have finally admitted a couple of important things to myself.
Number 1: My ability to lose weight by eating everything and doing nothing has passed. It’s time to move on and give up all hope that it shall return.
Number 2: Just owning a gym membership is not enough, you actually have to go there.
Number 3: When you get to the gym, you actually have to do stuff. A leisurely 20-minute walk on the treadmill and lifting a couple of weights ain’t going to cut it.
Number 4: My butt doesn’t know the difference between half a tub of cookies and cream ice cream and a bottle of wine. Calories are calories. So cutting back on wine only to substitute in ice cream is not a weight-loss strategy. And doing Number 3 on this list doesn’t negate the consumption of either the ice cream or wine.
Since I have admitted these weight-related realities to myself, I’ve actually dropped a dress size.
Of course it’s not the admission that made
My butt doesn’t know the difference between half a tub of cookies and cream ice cream and a bottle of wine
it so; it’s three trips a week to a personal trainer and it’s cutting back on the wine consumption (which is, of course, how I can afford the PT).
And while I may not quite have a beach body for this summer, for the first time in a decade I feel like I am on the right track and I’ve kicked the spring-spiral and the winter weight gain, I hope.
Now, I guess I’ll have to go out and buy a new wardrobe... again.
*End note – the author of this column would happily eat ice cream in a bikini at the beach if she looked like the woman in the photo.