Follow Your Dreams
Nury Vittachi on how to achieve fame without getting jailed
THE CAR WINDOW winds down and New Age author Paulo Coelho asks for directions to the expressway. “Here, have this map,” I reply, handing him a folded piece of paper with Follow your dream written on it. OK, that hasn’t happened yet, but I’m told we live in an infinite multiverse which means that it is statistically guaranteed to happen somewhere at some point.
It worries me that so many young writers and filmmakers I meet think Follow your dream is the most profound idea ever.
My question is, which dream? The one where I am chained naked to Goofy at a Disneyland parade? The
one where Kylo Ren from Star Wars is fondling his light sabre and looking at me in a creepy manner? Or one of the disturbing ones?
A colleague offered advice. “I think they mean that you should follow your daydream. Not the weird dreams you have at night, thanks to your strange eating habits,” he said, as if other people didn’t eat mac ‘n’ cheese with vindaloo sauce late at night.
Following my daydreams makes it worse. How do I arrange for Taylor Swift and Emma Watson to fight over me? Or to have a group of novitiate nuns chase me with tickling sticks?
To me, the phrase needs a disclaimer: “Follow your dream unless it quickly becomes obvious that you really, really shouldn’t.”
In my crime reporter days, I recall a one-legged petty thief from Indonesia who decided to follow his dream and graduate to bagsnatching. He was quickly caught by local police who gently suggested he rethink his career choice.
It strikes me that what many people mean by the phrase is that they want to be famous. To achieve this, forget long-held dreams and just have a startlingly original idea. For example, Indian student Ketan Kumar, 24, stole a train for his girlfriend. He thought she would be impressed with a gift of the 8.20pm express to Amrapali. She wasn’t, and nor was the local constabulary. Ketan, buddy, you need to think more deeply about how girls work. Big, ugly steaming lump of metal? Perfect for guys. For girls, think credit cards and fancy dinners. Ketan did achieve fame but ideally one should find an idea that gains media attention without getting you locked up.
Like the Indonesian high school students who created an air freshener from cow dung. Rintya Miki Aprianti and Dwi Nailul Izzah fermented cow poop for several days to maximise the, er, fragrance, and then put it into a spray-top container. The result was instant fame in the news media.
Personally, cow poop is not my top choice for house fragrances, but others disagree. “The smell reminds me of summer vacations, playing with cousins, gulmohar flowers, and reading novels in the courtyard under the shade of a mango tree,” said Karuna Menon, a reader with Indian and Malaysian roots. It takes all sorts, Karuna.
Time for a daydreamy doze. Taylor, Emma, where are you?
A student stole a train for his girlfriend, thinking she’d be impressed by the 8.20pm express