Life’s Like That

From the Archives

For a rich vein of humour that could not be mined today, check out this 52-year-old letter from June 1964.

A friend of ours is a strong advocate of seatbelts. He buckles himself in every time he drives a car, no matter how short the distance.

Recently, while his own car was being serviced, he was driving a borrowed car which did not have seatbelts. Forgetting this, he parked in front of the bank building, unbuckled his belt, stepped out of the car – and made a desperate grab for his trousers. SUBMITTED BY ROBERT W. PASKINS

WEDDING 3.0

I went to a colleague’s wedding recently. When it came to the part of the service where the couple had both said, “I do,” they handed their mobile phones to each other to update their Facebook relationship status.

That was a first for me! SUBMITTED BY AMELIA BARNES

HEAR NO EVIL

It was a typically noisy dinner at my parents’ home, and Dad was having trouble following the multiple conversations. He kept jumping in with off-topic comments and asking for things to be repeated. I finally told him he needed to get a hearing aid. Looking at me as if I were crazy, he said, “What would I do with a hand grenade?” SUBMITTED BY PAT TORNATORE

WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS

After painting the bedroom walls, my husband prepared to put back the pictures. “How should I hang them?” he asked. “Too high or too low?” SUBMITTED BY NANCY SETTER

OVER AND OUT

When her six-year-old daughter and four-year-old son ran outside to play with their new toy, my sister sat back to enjoy a cup of coffee and a rare moment of quiet. The peace was shattered when her son ran back into the house, crying.

“What’s wrong?” my sister asked.

“She won’t stop calling me Roger,” he sobbed, and threw down his new walkietalkie. SUBMITTED BY MELISSA JOHNSON

GOT THE CALL-BACK

“How was your first day of school?” I asked my daughter, after she began kindergarten.

“Fine,” she said. “They want me to come back tomorrow.” SUBMITTED BY SHIRLEY SPRAGUE