GRAND PLANS

Worried your grandparenting skills might be rusty? Try these tips.

THE FIRST TWO DECADES of parenthood are both tough and rewarding. By doing everything from toilet training to hosting birthday parties to puzzling through maths problems, you learn to be a drill sergeant, social convenor and crisis manager.

But once your kids grow up and move out, you might not have much use for those traits any more – until the fateful day your offspring ask you to look after their offspring. You might then worry your babysitting skills have slipped.

“Taking care of a child is not typically something one forgets how to do, but [some particulars] may have changed,” says author and family psychologist Sara Dimerman. “And each child is different.”

Here’s the good news: you’ve still got it. You might just need to brush up on some techniques, whether you’re watching a young baby or a worldweary adolescent.

Respect routine

While your grandchildren aren’t strangers, you may not live with them on a daily basis. You and the parents should go over their routines – such as appropriate times for naps, dinner and

bed – as well as the kids’ idiosyncrasies, from food sensitivities to their favourite stuffed toys.

“Sometimes problems arise when grandparents assume they know better and do things their own way rather than following through with the parents’ requests,” points out Dimerman. “This can create conflict and may not always be in the child’s best interests.”

Once the parents feel confident you won’t scar their progeny, feel free to trust your instincts. You’ve got experience. You also have licence, as a grandparent, to bend the rules a bit if they don’t work for you or your routine.

Keeping them amused

Given the ubiquity of smartphones and other video-playing devices, some grandparents may think children can’t entertain themselves any other way. That’s simply not true, says Charlotte Livingston, a grandmother to three young boys.

With her ten-year-old grandson in particular, she says, “I feel that at home, there’s a heck of a lot of screen time. I actually like to limit that.”

Rather than simply switching on the TV or a tablet, Livingston keeps her grandsons absorbed in reading, crafts and outdoor activities, such as biking. She also brings along board games when she’s on babysitting duty.

The longer haul

If your grandkids are staying for a longer spell, it can be helpful to establish a daily routine, as though they were actually living with you. That might include stricter bedtimes and even some chores, suggests Patricia Adair, who has nine grandchildren and one great-grandchild.

Adair often gets them to help around the house or garden. Asking the younger set to lend a hand by mowing the lawn or to peel carrots for dinner helps them appreciate what goes into maintaining a household, she says, and it can open up opportunities to have casual yet meaningful discussions about family and school.

Back to reality

For many kids, a trip to their grandparents’ house means a few more sweets, a few more stories and more freedom in general.

Still, you should ensure your charges understand that the party ends when they return home, says Kathy Buckworth, author of I Am So the Boss of You.

Being at Grandma and Grandad’s can be like a mini-holiday, Buckworth says, but after the fact, “it is normal to have a ‘ re- entry’ period where the child is reintroduced to real life with Mum and Dad.”