Laughter, the Best Medicine
PRESIDENTIAL PARDON?
Somebody recently said to me, “Mr President, you are so yesterday. Justin Trudeau has completely replaced you. He’s so handsome and he’s so charming. He’s the future.” I resented that and I said, “Justin, just give it a rest.” FORMER US PRESIDENT BARACK OBAMA
BEEPDOG
As I drove into a car park, I noticed that a pick-up truck with a dog sitting behind the wheel was rolling towards a female pedestrian. She seemed oblivious, so I hit my horn to get her attention. She looked up just in time to jump out of the pick-up’s path, and the vehicle bumped harmlessly into the pavement and stopped.
I rushed to the woman’s side to see >>
>> if she was all right. “Thanks, I’m fine,” she assured me, “but if that dog hadn’t honked…” SUBMITTED BY PEGGY GREENWOOD
OVERACHIEVER
Yesterday at a job interview, I filled my glass of water until it overflowed a little.
“Are you nervous?” asked the interviewer, kindly.
“No,” I replied. “I always give 110 per cent.” Seen online
FACT
Did you know that if you count the number of stars in the universe and compare that to the exact number of grains of sand on a beach, you can ruin a holiday? COMEDIAN TOM NEENAN
YOU KNOW WHEN YOU KNOW
I see people my age getting married to people they’ve only known for a year and a half. A year and a half?
Is that enough time to get to know someone? Enough to know you want to spend the rest of your life with them? I’ve had sweaters for a year and a half and then thought, What the heck was I doing with this sweater? COMEDIAN AZIZ ANSARI
Q: What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work? A: A can’t opener. Source: reddit.com