Why it Pays to Be Happy
You’ll get more out of life if you go through it with a smile
AMAJOR HEALTH SCARE was just what Kaye Newton, then 48, needed to kickstart her transformation into a happier person. Before her illness, Newton, an author, was a self-described hypochondriac, always worrying about what pitfalls might be lurking in her future. But once she faced actual adversity, she learned how to change her perspective.
“Surgery helped me realise that worrying about my health doesn’t protect me from illness or prepare me for an operation,” Newton says. “I worry less now. I’m happier, and I consciously pay more attention to what is going on right now.”
The longer you live, the more likely you are to become a happier person. Count less research studies have shown that over a person’s lifespan, happiness inhabits a U- shaped curve: we’re happiest during childhood and old age. In early adulthood, happiness levels steadily decrease, bottoming out in our mid- 40s. By age 50, our happiness levels are on the rise again.
The happiness curve dip is understandable, given the stress and life changes that take place during our 20s, 30s and 40s: Working long hours. Establishing a career. Getting married. Raising small children. Socking away money for the future.
But what about the boost on the happiness curve? After living life for 45 or 50 years, the experience that we’ve gained helps us to put things in perspective.
“By the time we have lived six decades or more, most have seen that life has as many downs as ups,” says sociology professor Lisa F. Carver. “The optimism of youth, which can think success in life is inevitable, is replaced by the reality that things aren’t always good. However, there is also the understanding that good can come from bad.”
Learning to put life events in perspective can help you become happier as you age. And it pays to be happy. You’ll see benefits in your relationships, work, health, attitude and other aspects of your life.
HAPPINESS & RELATIONSHIPS
Do you have friends or relatives in whom you can confide? If you do, you’re automatically happier than people who have no one to turn to for advice or companionship.
“Satisfaction with relationships is the strongest predictor of happiness we have,” says Meik Wiking, CEO of the Happiness Research Institute in Denmark. “It comes up in happiness data all the time.”
Research shows that people who are married or who live with their partners tend to be happier than unattached people, simply because they’re less likely to be lonely.
“People who have someone to count
LEARNING TO PUT life events in perspective CAN HELP YOU BECOME HAPPIER AS YOU AGE
on in times of trouble are happier than people who don’t,” says happiness researcher John Helliwell. “People who are married are more likely to have someone to count on than someone who isn’t married.”
Helliwell’s research has found that marriage gives a long- term boost to happiness, and the midlife dip towards unhappiness isn’t as pronounced among married people. The happiest people of all consider their spouses to be their best friends. Helliwell’s research is the first to examine the intersection of marriage and friendship and its effects on happiness.
“Calling your spouse your best friend is another way of saying ‘I’ve got a happy marriage’,” Helliwell says. “They are happy being married.”
Carol Gee has been married to the same man for 44 years.
“I realise I am actually happy and not just staying in the relationship because we have invested so much time together,” Gee says. “I don’t believe in not being happy.”
HAPPINESS & WORK
Researchers have studied job traits that lead to happiness and greater life satisfaction. Most people prefer a good work-life balance above all else.
“Variety and learning new things are important, but not as important as work-life balance,” says economist and happiness researcher Jan-Emmanuel De Neve. “If you feel your job is preventing you from giving time to your family or partner, or if you worry about work problems when you’re not working, that has a massive effect on wellbeing.”
Retirement, as expected, enhances happiness in most adults. “This is due to two things,” De Neve says. “One is related to being able to do more, because the work-life balance shifts more to life. There’s more time for leisure. People also start adapting their expectations, which may have been overly high when you started out. You accept the outcome of your life.”
HAPPINESS & HEALTH
Live long enough and you’ll likely experience illness or disability. But with the right attitude, these setbacks won’t affect your happiness levels.
“We have learned from our study participants that ageing with illness and loss are challenges that brought new insights and appreciation of life,” Carver says.
Researchers in Italy found that people who have a positive perception of
ageing are happier than those with a negative perception of ageing.
“The positive perception of ageing is not always correlated with having good health,” says geriatric specialist Ligia Dominguez at the University of Palermo, one of the study authors. “In our everyday clinical practice, we witness touching examples of this human ability – called resilience – in the guise of many older persons who independently, or with family and/or social support, maintain a good quality of life and declare feeling well, in spite of their health ailments.”
HAPPINESS & SELF-CARE
Optimism and resilience can help you be happy into old age.
“The mechanism for the association between optimism and successful ageing may well be that optimistic older adults have the ability to cope with the curve balls of life,” Carver says. “They are resilient. They express life satisfaction despite upset plans and losses, because they have adapted their expectations and have accepted that events that may be considered negative can have positive outcomes.”
Life has taken Maggie Georgopoulos, 46, on a winding path through a number of jobs and continents, but she’s found happiness in the life that she’s created.
“My happiness comes from within me,” Georgopoulos says. “Because I have created a path to the life that I would like to live, I am OK when things go wrong because I can see the good that will eventually come.”
HAPPINESS POINTERS FOR LIFE
If you’re hoping to remain happy until your final days, researchers recommend the following: • Adjust your attitude You may not be able to control what happens to you, but you can control how you react. “It is possible to develop the habit of seeing the positive side of things,” Dominguez says. “Many people complain of not being happy, but they also do nothing to change it.”
Learning to be more optimistic is a good first step.
“Start by recognising negative thoughts, and question them,” Dominguez says. “For example: Is the situation really as bad as I think? Is there another way to approach it?” • Interact differently with your spouse After decades together, many husbands and wives become so familiar with one another, they’re not as kind to each other as they should
“OPTIMISTIC OLDER ADULTS HAVE THE ABILITY to cope with the curve balls OF LIFE,” SAYS LISA CARVER. “THEY ARE RESILIENT”
be. This can lead to tension and unhappiness in a marriage, which affects daily happiness levels.
“It’s not fair to treat your spouse as toughly as you treat yourself,” Helliwell says. “Ask yourself: Is this the sort of behaviour that I would use on a friend? If you treat your spouse the way you treat your friend, it should involve less taking for granted and an increase of the positivity.” • Focus on what you have If you’re less mobile than you were, be thankful that you still have your wits about you, when so many others suffer from dementia and memory loss.
“That is an excellent example of a positive and optimistic person who appreciates what she has instead of concentrating on what she does not have,” Dominguez says. “Being grateful is part of cultivating a positive attitude. Looking for the small pleasures of daily life, focusing on the positive aspects at that moment, without concentrating on the shadows of the past or bad thoughts that may upset the moment.” • Give back After you retire, you’ll find more purpose in life and have more reasons to connect with others on a regular basis if you volunteer in your community.
“It’s beneficial to get more involved,” Wiking says, “especially if you’re at the stage when you’re leaving your work behind, so all of your identity isn’t attached to your profession.”
Find a cause or an organisation that’s meaningful to you, then find out how you can help.
“I think people see volunteer work as good for other people, but we overlook the benefit we get out of it ourselves,” Wiking says. “It’s a way to make and meet new friends. It also, perhaps, helps people become more grateful for what they have, because some sorts of charity work expose you to how the other half lives.”