Whenever I ask someone a question – for directions, for instance – I FIND MY MIND WANDERING.

Instead of listening to how to get to Hicksville, I’ll focus on the ugly buttons on her shirt. Why can’t I concentrate?

It could be that you are trying so hard to show you’re a good listener that instead of actual ly listening, you are already thinking ahead. “This happens a lot on first dates,” says Hilfer. “You ask a question and then don’t pay attention for long because you’re already thinking about the next question you’re going to ask to show you were paying attention.”

The solution is to train yourself to focus more. You can do this, says Tessina, by turning on the TV or radio for short periods of time and making a serious effort to pay attention. Then turn it off and try to remember what was said. Pretty soon you will develop a less distractible brain. N or N Rating: 3 Not too nuts, just easily … Hey, what do you call that colour? It’s not exactly red.