Laugh­ter, the Best Medicine

Reader's Digest Asia Pacific - - Contents -

I DON’T PUNDERSTAND YOU

A friend and I were en­joy­ing a cof­fee at our lo­cal restau­rant when an ac­quaint­ance stopped at our ta­ble and said, “Hi, Ken. Can I join you?”

“Why, am I fall­ing apart?” I replied. SUB­MIT­TED BY KEN MACKAY

IN THE BAG

An ex­er­cise for peo­ple who are out of shape: be­gin with a 5 kg potato bag in each hand. Ex­tend your arms straight out from your sides, hold them there for a full minute, and then re­lax. Af­ter a few weeks, move up to 10 kg potato bags. Then try 50 kg potato bags, and even­tu­ally try to get to where you can lift a 100 kg potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel con­fi­dent at that level, put a potato in each bag. SUB­MIT­TED BY BEV­ERLY GROSS

PRELOVED GOODS

I have a friend who’s so into re­cy­cling that she won’t con­sider mar­ry­ing a man un­less he’s been mar­ried be­fore. CO­ME­DIAN RITA RUDNER

IF THE CAP FITS…

Q: Why don’t moun­tains get cold in the win­ter? A: They wear snow­caps. Source: funol­ogy.com

BEAR­ING UP

I wish I knew who kicked the jack out from un­der the car I was work­ing on. The sus­pen­sion is killing me. SUB­MIT­TED BY STEPHEN HUGHES

OH DEER

Prince Philip looks out the palace win­dow on Christ­mas Eve. “That’s some rein­deer,” he says.

Queen El­iz­a­beth II replies, “Sixty-three years. Yes, that is a lot.” Source: ex­press.co.uk

IN GOOD HANDS

Q: How of­ten should you wear gloves in the win­ter? A: In­ter­mit­tenly. Source: red­dit.com

DRESSED TO KILL

Jen­nifer’s wed­ding day was fast ap­proach­ing and she was hor­ri­fied to learn that her mother had bought the ex­act same dress for the wed­ding as her fa­ther’s young new wife. Jen­nifer im­plored her step­mother to ex­change hers, but she re­fused. So Jen­nifer’s mother agreed to buy a dif­fer­ent dress for the wed­ding.

“Are you go­ing to re­turn the other dress?” Jen­nifer asked. “You re­ally don’t have an­other oc­ca­sion where you could wear it.”

Her mother smiled. “Of course I do, dear. I’m wear­ing it to the re­hearsal din­ner the night be­fore the wed­ding.” Source: fri­arsclub.com

“Yes, I’m still pay­ing off the China Shop in­ci­dent. “Any other ques­tions, Mr Nosy?”

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