Just burned 8000 kilojoules. That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
ROUGH TIME OF IT
Do you have any idea how long I spent searching for my wristwatch this morning?
Because I don’t.
I went to college to become an astronaut.
All I did was take up space.
I went to the zoo last week and saw a baguette in a cage.
The zookeeper told me it was bread in captivity.