UP TO NO GOUDA At an art gallery, a man notices two similar still-life paintings. Both show a table covered by a red-and-white checked cloth topped by a bottle of wine, a loaf of bread and a wheel of cheese. One painting is priced at $1000, but the other is $1500.
Confused, the man says to the gallery owner, “Those paintings look exactly alike. Why is one more expensive than the other?”
The gallery owner points to the pricier painting and says, “That one has imported cheese.” From Life Is a Joke by the Javna Brothers
SIGN OUTSIDE A BRITISH PUB “Do not drop your cigarette ends on the floor, as they burn the hands and knees of customers as they leave.” Seen online WRAPPED UP Breaking news from Egypt: they’ve found a tomb covered in nuts and chocolate.
Experts say it was a Pharaoh Rocher. Seen online
FOR PAWSTERITY Give your canine a leg up in our dog-eat-dog world by naming him or her after someone famous.
Here’s some inspiration collected by care.com: ■ Droolius Caesar ■ Woofgang Amadeus Mozart ■ Sarah Jessica Barker ■ Jimmy Chew ■ Doggy Howlser, M.D. ■ Chew Barka ■ Fur-dinand ■ Sherlock Bones