Ocean of Letters

A simple letter that forged a lifelong Trans-Pacific friendship

Pen pals spanning the seas – and years.

When Char’ s seventh grade teacher asked her class to sign up for pen pals, they were given a list of countries to pick from. Char originally wrote to a student in Japan but never heard back, so she returned to the list, this time writing to an Australian student.

“I just really wanted to know if she had kangaroos in her backyard,” she says.

Julie Polich Sapienza received the letter in Perth a short time later, and the two have been writing ever since.

They transitioned from handwritten letters to emails to Facebook, but they’ve never fallen out of touch.

Always writing

Since they began in 1972, Char and Julie marked many of life’s milestones – school graduations, first jobs, weddings and the birth of children – through letters.

One of those children born along the way was me – Char is my mother, and I can’t remember a time she wasn’t writing to Julie. “People are pretty fascinated, especially since it’s been going for so long,” Julie says.

At the start, ‘snail mail’ earned its

name, Julie says. “It took the letters about two weeks in transit.”

“She kept me on my toes!” my mother says. “I probably was a little slower, writing back every month or two once we were in our 20s.

Julie recalls Mum sending her a gift of painted snail shells early in their friendship. Later they exchanged wedding photos, party invitations, popular foods and souvenirs.

One of my mother’s standout memories was the year my grandfather let her call Julie as her Christmas present. Mum quickly wrote to Julie, asking her to send her phone number back. After waiting anxiously for weeks, they were able to talk long-distance for three whole minutes, something they both remember fondly.

They meet at last

Though they often discussed how they would love to visit one another, neither could make it work for decades. But in early 2018, Julie wrote to Mum to say she and her husband, Basil, had booked tickets to visit the US for several weeks, with an intended stop to visit my mother’s home in New Berlin, Wisconsin.

After touring Los Angeles, Las Vegas and Dallas in August 2018, Julie and Basil made their way to Wisconsin, where the pen pals finally met in person.

“It was thrilling, exciting,” Julie says. “We had a nice hug. It didn’t feel like it was the first time I had met her; it was quite natural.”

After 46 years of friendship, they agree it wasn’t awkward to finally spend time together.

“We’ve known each other’s lives for so long,” Mum says. “But we did learn little things we didn’t know before.” For example, my family discovered Basil’s name isn’t pronounced the way Americans refer to the common herb (he pronounced it bah-zeel), and Julie always referred to Mum as Charlene, her full name she used in school but not as an adult.

Mum and Dad spent several days introducing Julie and Basil to my siblings and me, their friends and our favourite Wisconsin treats, including frozen custard and cheese curds. When it was time for Julie and Basil to catch their flight to New York, the two friends shed a few tears.

They continue to keep up on Facebook, but both hope they can reunite in the near future. “Hopefully she can visit me in Australia!” Julie says.

AFTER 46 YEARS OF FRIENDSHIP, IT WASN’T AWKWARD TO FINALLY SPEND TIME TOGETHER