GOLF A Game of Life
Golf has an interesting way of imitating life – you have to play the ball where it lands
In 2014, I qualified to play in the ‘Cock o’ the Walk’ golf event at a course on Sydney’s Northern Beaches, where players competed against one another according to their handicaps. My first opponent was Don – a former first-grade footballer, who, at over 1.8 metres tall, was all muscle.
“Good luck,” said my wife, Margaret, as I left for the match. “Think of it as David versus Goliath,” I replied. I didn’t feel confident. I had played with Don in other rounds and he was a very good player with a low handicap. However, this was a handicap event so I was allowed an extra stroke on a number of holes. We shook hands at the first tee and wished one another the best.
“Keep an eye on the crows,” I warned. Strange things can happen in match play.
On the first hole my shot to the green went into the bunker. Don’s appeared to do the same, but we found it hard up against a tree. “Talk about bad luck!” he bellowed. Thanks to this unplayable penalty, he lost the hole.
My next hole was a repeat of the first – my ball landed in the bunker.
Don’s made it to the back of the green. I was just about to play my bunker shot when I heard Don bellow again.
He cursed and then said, “A bird just pecked my ear!”
I looked for the culprit expecting to see a magpie. None were in sight. A plover, perhaps? No. All I could see was a small grey noisy miner fluttering around. We had a good laugh but this put him off his shot and I managed to win the hole.
Ten holes in and I was still ahead. Don played a wonderful long drive on the Par Five 11th hole but the ball nearly ended up in the small lake known by course regulars as ‘The Teardrop’. In the distance we could both just see the tiny speck of white next to a red marker peg. We headed down the hill onto the fairway and I noticed two crows taking a lot of interest in his ball.
“Don, the crows!” I yelled out. He ran towards them waving his golf club but before he could reach them, one of the crows picked up his ball and waddled several metres along before dropping it further from the green. The other crow seemed to think this wasn’t far enough so it picked up the ball again and carried it to the edge of the lake before dropping it into the water. We were both stunned.
I told Don not to worry since the rules allow you to drop another ball in its place with no penalty. We played on to the 15th tee, and as I was three holes up, this was the last hole that I held an extra shot advantage on Don. This hole is very long – the hardest on the course, and only the best golfers can get to the green in two shots. Don proved his class as a player by placing his
ball next to the green on his second shot. After three shots, I was just short of the green. Don chipped his ball onto the green just three metres from the hole, then I chipped up to a metre from the hole. We walked onto the green and Don prepared to putt.
If he took two putts to get the ball in the hole, and I got mine in with just one putt, then the game would be over. Just as Don was about to putt, a big black cloud that must have followed us up the fairway, burst open with heavy rain, then quickly turned to hail. The whole green was covered under a thick carpet of ice and our clothes were drenched. Don shook his head in disbelief. It didn’t seem as though we’d be able to finish our game.
We agreed to mark our balls where they lay, wait for the hail to melt and the water to subside. Luckily, the hole was close to the clubhouse so we could take shelter during the downpour. Fifteen minutes later we returned and, in spite of the surface water, Don sank his ball with two putts. As I was now cold and wet, I didn’t really want to keep playing, but I couldn’t miss this putt. All I could do was hit the putt and hope ... and guess what? The ball rolled in.
It was all over. Don congratulated me. As we headed back to the clubhouse, he remarked that he couldn’t believe how many obstacles we had encountered during the round.
“Well, Don,” I replied. “I may have planted the tree that your ball stopped against, I could have trained the little bird to peck, and the crows to drop the ball into the lake, but I couldn’t make it hail!”
We both laughed, glad to see our sense of humour remained intact. In life, as in golf, unforeseen challenges arise but if you can take them in your stride and maintain a sense of humour, you’ll be wiser for the experience.
The sequel to this story is that on my next round of golf I was standing on the second tee when a small grey Noisy Miner hopped over to me and stood at my feet looking up expectantly – so I gave it a small morsel of food!
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HEAVY RAIN QUICKLY TURNED TO HAIL