Stupidity Is What Ales Him

I was working at a bottle store when a man tucked four six-packs of beer under his arms and bolted without paying. I called the police, then went home when my shift ended. The next day, the police came to the store with a suspect in tow. They asked the assistant working then, “Is this the man who stole the beer?”

The suspect shouted, “How would he know? He wasn’t here when I ran out the door.”

What’s this I hear about large quantities of ice, fish and snow being purchased by your department?