Starcrash
May the farce be with you
released OUT NOW! 1978 | PG | Blu-ray
Director luigi Cozzi Cast Caroline Munro, Marjoe Gortner, Christopher Plummer
Heard the phrase “car-crash TV”? Well, Starcrash is kinda the sci-fi movie equivalent. Featuring a battle between good and evil, an expository opening crawl, a nervous robot and a bloke with a laser-sword, this camp Italian-made space opera may just remind you of something...
A PVC-bikini clad (and dubbed) Caroline Munro plays Stella Star, a smuggler tasked with searching for the secret planet housing the evil Count Zarth Arn’s superweapon. Others slumming it include Christopher Plummer, somehow managing not to smirk through his deathless dialogue as the emperor of the universe, and an eyelinered David Hasselhoff as his missing-presumed-dead son.
John Barry’s heroic themes add a little class, and the colourful sets (more Barbarella than Star Wars) are eye-pleasing. But in all key respects, Starcrash is a work of resounding awfulness. The space battles and laser shoot-outs are a messily edited muddle, and the script seems to have been the result of a game of consequences, with people scribbling “then cavemen attack”, “his cunning plan: blow up the planet” or “and then he froze time” for a giggle. Best watched while Starsmashed.
Extras None – but this widescreen release is a step up from the grotty old 4:3 ratio DVD. Ian Berriman
Marjoe Gortner (Stella’s sidekick Akton) was a child preacher; he performed a marriage ceremony at the age of four!