inhumans
A right royal mess
UK Broadcast Sky One, Wednesdays US Broadcast ABC, finished Episodes Reviewed 1.01-108
There hasn’t been a show like Inhumans for a very long time. In the old days there was always one show on that everybody loved to loathe: Crime Traveller, Syfy’s Flash Gordon, Demons… But more recently, even the least-loved shows haven’t been all bad.
Inhumans, however, is all bad. No journalistic hyperbole. It’s a turkey. Marvel’s lunar-dwelling superpowered race, with their austere royal family, have been turned into a TV dog’s dinner – and considering the show’s teleporting pooch is the size of a smart car, that’s some dog’s dinner.
Showrunner Scott Buck has previously proven his inability to adapt superheroes by producing the first rubbish Netflix Marvel series, Iron Fist. But that was a masterpiece compared to this cheap-looking twaddle, with its wince-inducing dialogue (“I will kill you if it’s the last thing I do!”), dull characters and risible drama. We could spend time writing an incisive, well-constructed critique but it seems like wasted energy. Instead, we’ll list some of the things we hated about it until we run out of room (which we will).
1) The Inhuman royals are less likeable than villain Maximus. 2) And their constant internal bickering is a total turn-off. 3) The costumes look like bad cosplay. 4) Medusa’s “living hair” looks rubbish. 5) So having Maximus cut it off isn’t shocking, it’s just clearly a way of saving money on CGI. 6) And cutting it off with hair clippers is about as dramatic as ironing socks. 7) If you have a character who’s mute – Black Bolt – it’s not a good idea to cast someone with only one facial expression. 8) Gorgon has hooves, but wears human boots most of the time. 9) The Inhuman city, Attilan, looks like it’s been built from IKEA furniture. 10) The Attilan throne looks like a brutalist urinal. 11) There’s lots of tedious running around on Earth. 12) Gorgon hikes for half the season. 13) Crystal falls in love with a surfer dude in about five seconds. 14) Surfer dude turns “Hang loose” into a life philosophy. 15) There’s a “shock” flashback in the finale that’s hilarious. 16) No one has yet confirmed that this crud has been cancelled… Dave Golder