BLACK TIGHT KILLERS
Beat Me Up Before You Go-go
RELEASED 26 FEBRUARY 1966 | 18 | Blu-ray
Director Yasuharu Hasebe
Cast Akira Kobayashi, Chieko Matsubara,
Mieko Nishio, Kozue Kamo
Whether Bond belongs in SFX is a 29-year debate. Arguably not if the most far-out element is testicle abuse, but then you’ve got to factor in the invisible cars and space lasers too.
Neither feature in this Japanese riff on 007, but it’s detached from reality alright, featuring a team of female ninjas/go-go dancers whose methods include driving exploding golf balls, tossing 7” singles like throwing stars, the “ninja chewing gum bullet”, and “the octopus pot”, a technique we can’t possibly describe in a family magazine.
These knife-wielding vixens initially seem like the villains, but as our hero looks for a kidnapped air hostess, we find that they’re the more entitled of two factions competing to locate a stash of gold squirreled away after WW2. That’s a spoiler, but the plot is of little interest, just something on which to hang shoot-outs and punch-ups (and gratuitous bondage).
The deliriously groovy aesthetic is the hook. The film spits in the face of realism: driving scenes feature tinted back-projection which brazenly switches between different primary colours, creating a comic book feel, while the set design suspends ersatz neon signs against inky black, conjuring a non-specific international someplace.
Meanwhile, the soundtrack bustles with bebop jazz and twangy guitar. You just know Tarantino owns a print. “A magnificent accomplishment!” screams the trailer. If they’d come up with a half-decent story too, that would be an understatement.
Extras Japanese cinema expert Jasper Sharp’s bio-heavy commentary is keen on drawing connections to films by Branded To Kill’s Seijun Suzuki (for whom director Yasuharu Hasebe worked as an AD). A 2000 interview with the latter (nine minutes) is so self-effacing he almost vanishes. A comment on the studio’s reaction to the movie amuses: “I didn’t work again for 18 months!” Plus: trailer; booklet. Ian Berriman
The clearest Bond homage comes in the form of two dancers painted gold, and talk of how this could cause them to suffocate.
RELEASED OUT NOW! 2024 | PG | SVOD
Director
Cast
Raman Hui
Brandon Soo Hoo, Michelle Yeoh,
Henry Golding, Lucy Liu
At a slim 99 minutes (and a good chunk of those are taken up with the end credits), The Tiger’s Apprentice is a colourful blast of noise, chaos and fun cartoon critters. If you want more – original storytelling, unexpected plot twists, kids who don’t say “Whoa!” all the bleedin’ time – you’re out of luck.
The animals of the Chinese zodiac take centre stage here, rallying around teenager Tom (Brandon Soo Hoo), new guardian of a magical pendant that could destroy the world if it falls into the wrong hands. Those hands belong to Michelle Yeoh’s wicked Loo, who chases Tom all over San Francisco while he learns how to be a guardian from Mr Hu (Henry Golding), the zodiac tiger.
There are dragons, martial arts and a goat who blows things up, but the film’s animation strains too hard – and ultimately fails – to bring Spider-verse-level innovation on a miniscule budget. Worst of all, however, is the unforgivable cover of Survivor’s “Eye Of The Tiger” that plays at the end. Jayne Nelson
According to songwriter Frankie Sullivan, “Eye Of The Tiger” is about “getting your ass out of bed” on a Monday.