LOWERING THE BAR

A LEPRECHAUN walks into a bar. The bartender serves him and says: “That’ll be $2.50.” The leprechaun puts two dollar coins on the bar and starts walking away. The bartender shouts: “Hey, you’re a little short!”

A BOOK walks into a bar. The bartender says: “Please, no stories!”

A MAGICIAN walks down an alley and turns into a bar.

CHARLES Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks: “Olive or twist?” A MAN walks into a bar. “Ouch!” he yells. RENE Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks: “Would you like a beer?” Descartes replies: “I think not,” and disappears.

AN AMNESIAC walks into a bar. He asks: “Do I come here often?”

A MAN walks into a bar with jumper cables. The bartender says: “You can come in, but don’t try starting anything!”

A CAT walks into a bar. Then out of the bar. Then back in. Then out again.

AN INFECTIOUS disease walks into a bar and the bartender says: “We don’t serve infectious diseases here.” The infectious disease says: “Well, you’re not a very good host.”

TWO BACTERIA walk into a bar. The bartender says: “We don’t serve bacteria here.” One bacterium replies: “But we work here. We’re staph.”

A MAN walks into a bar owned by horses. The bartender says: “Why the short face?”

A SKELETON walks into a bar and says: “Give me a beer, and a mop.”

A MAN walks into a bar and yells: “Give me a beer, before problems start!” He drinks his beer, and then orders again. “Give me a beer before problems start!” The bartender is perplexed, but serves him. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender says: “Hey, when are you going to pay for these beers?” The man answers: “Ah, now the problems start!”