A DOG’S LIFE

A BUTCHER is in his shop, butchering away, when he notices a dog in the shop. He shoos him away, but later that afternoon he notices the dog is back again. So he goes over to the dog, and notices the dog has a note in his mouth. He takes the note, and it reads: “Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. My dog has money in his mouth as well.”

The butcher checks the dog’s mouth again, and lo and behold, there is a $20 note there. So he takes the money, puts the sausages and lamb in a bag and places it in the dog’s mouth. The dog promptly heads outside. The butcher is amazed, and since it’s close to closing time, he decides to shut up shop and follow the dog.

So the dog is walking down the street and comes to a crossing. The dog puts down the bag, jumps up and presses the button. Then he waits patiently, bag in mouth, for the lights to change. When they do, off he walks across the road, with the butcher following him all the way.

The dog then comes to a bus stop, and starts looking at the timetable. The butcher is in awe at this stage. The dog checks out the times, and then sits on one of the seats provided. Along comes a bus. The dog walks around the front, looks at the number, and goes back to his seat. Another bus comes. Again the dog goes and looks at the number, notices it’s the right bus, and climbs on. The butcher cannot believe his eyes, and follows the dog onto the bus.

The bus travels through the town and out into the suburbs, while the dog looks at the scenery. Eventually he gets up and moves to the front of the bus. He stands up on his hind legs and with his front paw he pushes the button to stop the bus. Then he gets off, his groceries still in his mouth, followed closely by the butcher.

Well, dog and butcher are walking along the road, and then the dog turns into a house. He walks up the path and drops the groceries on the step. Then he walks back down the path, takes a big run, and throws himself against the door with a thud. He goes back down the path, runs up and throws himself against the door again. Then he sits down in front of the door, watching it closely.

After a few seconds a big guy opens the door, and shoves the dog inside with his leg, swearing at him.

The butcher runs up and stops the guy. “Hey, don’t treat your dog like that!’ he cries. “That dog is a genius!”

“Genius my arse,” the big guy replies. “This is the second time this week he’s forgotten his key!” Kane Einn, email