PLANKKING

Street Machine - - Your Stuff -

G’DAY, Brian Plankkman here. I just spent the week­end with me young fella Red­mond and we got on the turps. Red­mond even brought a car­ton with him; first time he’s had a shout. Nor­mally he wouldn’t shout even if a D10 ’dozer parked on his foot!

Any­way, the loyal old-school read­ers might be in­ter­ested to know I still got me Bel­mont ute. She runs a 186 red and sounds like Olivia New­ton-john reach­ing cli­max at full noise.

A few years ago I emp­tied me cash drawer and pur­chased a VE 6.0-litre ute from Bathurst Holden, and bloody hell, the thing would pull a sailor off me sis­ter it is that strong! Last Fridee night we went to Blaney Chi­nese for a feed and on the way home I gave the ute the berries. We got home be­fore the dim sims got cold – that frig­gin’ EFI Chev goes like a pill freak at the Big Day Out.

Jeez, it’s a shame that these days lo­cal blokes can’t buy a Holden ute. I blame the Ley­land Broth­ers – they started all this of­froad rub­bish. Re­ally, who wants to go look at red rocks and lizards in low-four at 3mph?

I re­mem­ber when I was a young fella we used to fet­tle the old donk in the FX-FJ to try and pull 100mph – or the odd jilly from Bathurst Ag Col­lege. A 186S badge was worn with hon­our. Seems these days the young bulls are too busy chas­ing Poke­mon on Face­book to worry about hold­ing a Holden throt­tle flat­ter than ham­mered shit.

Bloody hell, I can­not be­lieve we live in a sun­burnt coun­try that will not sup­port a lo­cally built V8. We might as well be New Zealand with more vow­els!

Brian Plankkman (tran­scribed by Red­mond), email

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