DEATH-DE­FY­ING

Street Machine - - Lol -

A MAN in Bul­garia drove trains for a liv­ing. He loved his job; driv­ing a train had been his dream ever since he was a child. He loved to make the train go as fast as pos­si­ble. Un­for­tu­nately, one day he was a lit­tle too reck­less and caused a crash. He made it out, but a sin­gle per­son died.

Need­less to say, he went to court over this in­ci­dent. He was found guilty, and was sen­tenced to death by elec­tro­cu­tion. When the day of the ex­e­cu­tion came, he re­quested a sin­gle ba­nana as his last meal. Af­ter eat­ing the ba­nana, he was strapped into the elec­tric chair. The switch was flown, sparks flew, and smoke filled the air – but noth­ing hap­pened. The man was per­fectly fine.

At the time, there was an old Bul­gar­ian law that said a failed ex­e­cu­tion was a sign of di­vine in­ter­ven­tion, so the man was al­lowed to go free.

Some­how, the man man­aged to get his old job back driv­ing the train. Hav­ing not learned his les­son at all, he went right back to driv­ing the train with reck­less aban­don. Once again, he caused a train to crash, this time killing two peo­ple.

The trial went much the same as the first, re­sult­ing in a sen­tence of ex­e­cu­tion. For his fi­nal meal, the man re­quested two ba­nanas. Af­ter eat­ing the ba­nanas, he was strapped into the elec­tric chair. The switch was thrown, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was once again un­harmed. Well, this of course meant that he was free to go.

Once again, he some­how man­aged to get his old job back. To what should have been the sur­prise of no one, he crashed yet an­other train and killed three peo­ple, so he once again found him­self sen­tenced to death.

On the day of his ex­e­cu­tion, he re­quested his fi­nal meal: three ba­nanas.

“You know what? No,” said the ex­e­cu­tioner. “I’ve had it with you and your stupid ba­nanas and walk­ing out of here un­harmed. I’m not giv­ing you a thing to eat; we’re strap­ping you in and do­ing this now. “Well, it was against pro­to­col, but the man was strapped to the elec­tric chair with­out a last meal. The switch was pulled, sparks flew, smoke filled the room – and the man was still un­harmed. The ex­e­cu­tioner was speech­less.

The man looked at the ex­e­cu­tioner and said: “The ba­nanas had noth­ing to do with it. I’m just a bad con­duc­tor.” N Jin­ear, email

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