RED CENTRENATS
RED CENTRE NATS 5 IN ALICE SPRINGS PROMISED A WEEKEND OF SMOKY BURNOUTS, HEAVY-HITTING DRAGS, SHOW-STOPPING RIDES AND CRAZY CRUISING, AND IT DID NOT DISAPPOINT
Australia’s most centrally located horsepower hoedown goes from strength to strength
THERE’S something serene about the sky above Alice Springs. Casting my eyes towards the cloudless blue flanked by the rusty red of the Macdonnell Ranges, I spot a trio of wedge-tailed eagles wheeling silently on the thermal drafts. Suddenly, the silence and wonder are broken by 1000hp of 440-cubic-inch Windsor, grunting with ferocious anger. Damo Kemp is behind the wheel of his 1964 Fairlane gasser, ‘Funderbolt’, and is grinning like a lunatic. “Are we going to Macca’s?” he yells over the deafening din. We sure are Damo, we sure are.
That brief moment sums up the craziness of Red Centrenats. Set against the picturesque backdrop of Australia’s Dead Heart, 700 show cars, dragsters, burnout rigs and buggies congregate, and are welcome to travel Alice Springs’ public roads just so long as they pass a basic scrutineering check.
Although festivities officially kick off on Friday with an evening of fire and fury on the burnout pad, experienced punters know to fuel up during the calm before the storm. The Krazy Train Diner offers an unofficial welcome party on Thursday night, supplying succulent burgers to travel-drained entrants and spectators alike, the car park a throng of rods, customs, rock ’n’ roll music and stray lettuce.
Friday sees the bulk of the entrants filter in from across the nation. Scrutineering at Lasseters Casino is a hive of activity. It’s there we come
across Chook, Luke and Craig who have road-tripped from Whyalla in a seemingly busted-arse XB Falcon wagon. “We dragged it off a salt pan,” says Chook, aka Anthony Fowler. “It runs Luke’s 351 Windsor and EB Falcon five-speed, Craig’s Bathurst Globes, and a pair of my jeans for a dashpad,” he adds.
As day turns to night, the Outback presents a stunning dusk, with the sun setting on an impossibly low horizon. Above the Alice Springs Inland Dragway, purple smoke mixed with the last vestiges of sunlight signals that the Burnout Competition Qualifiers are underway. The crowd cheers with each successive skid as the once-warm air drops quickly to single-digit temperatures.
The evening closes with the Burnout Masters Qualifiers, with entrants presenting a quality show until Lynchy hits the pad, bonks the wall, then stops. “Me rods fell out of me engine!” he laughs afterwards. “I was just trying to send it, then realised I was going to tap the wall. I could have lifted, but you know – never lift!” He’s philosophical about his mechanical maladies, though. “It’s all over for this weekend. Looks like I’m here on holiday now.” And with that, both he and his broken Corolla disappear into the dark, cold night.
With Saturday a day of rest for burnout enthusiasts, there’s still epic action at the Dragway, with heads-up grudge racing held all morning. But for those looking for quality show-stoppers, Blatherskite Park is where it’s
at, the oval quickly filling with locals and interstaters, their rides polished and preened. In the sheds, Elite cars await judgement, their owners eager to get the stressful bit done.
The show is filled with quality inside and out, with many cars that those on the coast rarely get to clap eyes on. We spy an XD Falcon Phase V, some brilliantly ratty Kombis, a rare VY Sandman, and no less than two FJ utes, coincidentally each with 29,000 miles on them. Another FJ ute, ‘PRIMED’, owned by Troy David, stands out for different reasons. Winner of last year’s RCN Grand Champion trophy, he’s keen to repeat the feat, as well as announcing plans to compete in Street Machine Drag Challenge in 2020.
As the sun tips towards the horizon once more, commotion descends on the Show ’n’ Shine. Cars are moving into position for the Yeperenye Shopping Centre Street Parade, with drag racers, burnout kings, chunky fourbies and trophy karts all joining the impressive queue. I spy an awesome HK Monaro; blue with a beaut flame job and Dragway Tri-y alloys. It would have been the duck’s guts in 1990, and thankfully, it hasn’t changed. Owner Brad See is cool for me to ride shotgun for the parade, his son Zakobie and mates Paul Duke and Clint Miller relegated to the back seat.
Unless you’ve done something like Bay to Birdwood in Adelaide, nothing really prepares you for the Street Parade. Most of Alice Springs is lined up along the streets, cooking barbies, sinking beers and waving
to everything passing by. Brad had considered giving the Monaro a more sensible paintjob one day, but after seeing the reaction of the kids and boomers alike, plans may have changed. We loop through town, wave to the masses as Brad gives the 350 a few loud blips and suddenly we’re back at Blatherskite Park, the tail of the parade just setting off as we return. It only takes about 30 minutes, but after seeing elite streeters, off-tap burnout rigs and two vintage gassers cruising through town like it’s not a thing, I can see why people travel so far just for this one aspect of Red Centrenats.
Hot on the heels of the street parade is the Heavy Hitter drag racing – seven- to 11-second cars vying for a chunk of the $15,000 prize money. All eyes are on Troy David in PRIMED, since he’s audacious enough to enter Heavy Hitters while still chasing Grand Champion glory, but his enthusiasm is his undoing. While running a personal best at 7.90, he breaks out of his eight-second class and hurts the motor, putting him completely out of contention. Simon Daley takes the outright gong; running a 7.13 in his Pontiac Trans Am, with Todd Knight a close second having broken out of the 7.00 bracket at a swift 6.99.
The chase for Grand Champion starts on Sunday morning, with all contenders putting in a pass. Portland native Brett Parkes gets troublingly squirrelly in his BADEGO TD Cortina, but best mate Brent Murray has the run of the day, his candy-apple red Dodge Dart turning over a
10.21@134mph, snapping an alternator belt and losing half the blower belt in the process.
“I saw belts flying through the bonnet and I thought we were in trouble,” he says later. “There’s only an inch of belt left. They asked me if I wanted to pull out, but there was no way.” Brent’s tenacity is rewarded with a good showing in the grass events and motorkhana, the latter seeing him get a least one wheel off the deck as he drives the Dart hard around the cones.
Come sundown, trophies are handed out and a party atmosphere descends on Blatherskite Park as DJ outfit Hot Dub Time Machine takes over the speakers and cranks it to 11. With the music thumping, newly crowned Grand Champion Brent Murray steps off the stage, exhausted. “I’ve been vying for Grand Champion for a while now; to win is just amazing,” he says. Giving his wife Tiffany a big hug, she confirms the win is worth it. “And now we’re up for a big night, for sure,” she adds.
As the dust settles on the fifth Red Centrenats, few can feel slighted. With a dyno comp, off-road 4x4 action and trophy karts running across the weekend, there was something for everyone at Red Centrenats 5; the event proving that the Dead Heart beats strong.