WINGING IT

ONE day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get underway. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear at the rear of the plane and begin walking up to the cockpit through the centre aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses.

At first the passengers do not react, thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes, the engines start revving and the airplane begins moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance. Then the plane starts accelerating rapidly, and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 metres of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once – and at the very last moment, the plane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief, turns to the pilot and says: “You know, one of these days the passengers aren’t going to scream and we’re gonna get killed!”

Ike Arntsee, email