SNORE NO MORE

A COUPLE owns a dog that snores in its sleep. Annoyed because the dog’s snoring keeps her awake, the wife takes it to the vet to see if he can help.

The vet tells the wife to tie a ribbon around the dog’s testicles at night and he will stop snoring.

The wife is dubious about the vet’s advice, but a few hours after going to bed, the dog is snoring as usual, so she decides it’s worth giving the ribbon idea a try. She grabs a piece of ribbon from her sewing drawer and ties it around the dog’s testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops snoring. The wife is amazed!

Later that night, the woman’s husband returns home drunk after being out with his mates. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins snoring very loudly. The wife wonders whether the vet’s advice might work on her husband, too, so she gets another piece of ribbon and ties it around his testicles. Amazingly, it works – the husband’s snoring stops! The woman then sleeps very soundly.

The next morning, the husband awakens with a hangover and lurches into the loo to pee. Looking down, he sees a blue ribbon tied around his privates. Confused, he finishes up and walks back into the bedroom, where he notices a red ribbon around his dog’s testicles.

He shakes his head, looks down at the dog and says to him: “Syd, I don’t remember where we were or what we did last night, but hey, we got first and second place!”

Ivana Kontest, email