PRECIOUS METAL

IT’S A big night for TP-253, the patriarch of the robot family. All three of his robot sons are coming for dinner for the first time in years, and all three have brand-new robot fiancées. TP-253 and his wife X8-15Z are both very excited to see their children and learn all about their wives-to-be.

So as they’re all sitting around the dinner table, sipping their oil soup, TP-253 asks his eldest son, 601-QV, “Tell me about your new fiancée.”

“Dad, I’m so excited,” 601-QV says. “She’s kind, generous, has state-of-the-art processing capacity, and what’s more, she’s made entirely of stainless steel!” TP-253 and his wife are both impressed. TP-253 then turns to his middle son, Y74. “What about you? Tell me about your fiancée.”

With a smug grin, Y74 replies, “Well, not only does my fiancée incorporate experimental superconductors and wireless satellite networking capability, she just happens to be made out of titanium!”

TP-253 and his wife X8-15Z think this is amazing. “I can’t wait to see the incredible children you’ll fabricate together!” the robot wife says.

TP-253 then turns to his youngest son, XP-1965, who has always been a bit of a black sheep. “Well XP-1965, you’ve been awfully quiet. Would you like to tell us about your robot fiancée?”

“Dad, my fiancée might not be made of space-age materials,” XP-1965 says, “but I love her very much. We have a lot in common. And she’s made of iron.”

TP-253’S circuits practically fry upon hearing this. He stands up, slams the table and yells as loud as his vocal processor will go, “Iron? IRON? Why, she’s just a common ore!”

Anne Droid, email