FILM COMPOSERS

ALL the action movie heroes are at Sylvester Stallone’s house. He’s called them all together to tell them about a new action movie he wants them all to star in that’s focused on the great composers. They all start discussing which composer they’d like to play.

“I’m rather partial to Beethoven, myself,” Sly says.

“I’m not going to be in it if I can’t be Mozart,” says Jason Statham.

“I’m Chopin!” says Jet Li.

Then it’s Arnold Schwarzenegger’s turn. But he’s not at all interested in the project. “This is a dumb idea for a moofie,” he says.

“Come on Arnie,” says Bruce Willis, “just pick a composer.”

“Fine,” Arnold sighs. “I’ll be Bach.”

Asta Lavista, email