EMBRACE YOUR 20/20 VISION
For many people, the New Year is a time to reflect on family and relationships - whether it be trying to hold in and make a relationship work, or at the other end of the spectrum...parting ways.
Regardless of what 2020 has in store for you and your relationships here are some tips for common scenarios we see:
I will separate, I need to move on
Making this decision can be the hardest step in the process and the first thing you need to do is to build a support team. This team will consist of friends/family, possibly a counsellor or psychologist and, quite likely, a family lawyer.
Next, get legal advice on things like: who moves out of the house, where will the children stay, how will expenses be paid? There are no set rules to these questions and each situation will be different. Get advice and do not rely on your best friend’s experience as a guide for yours.
I will legally formalise my property arrangements
If you have reached an agreement about how you will divide your property this is a good start and you need to go the extra step and legally document it. If you purchase/acquire assets in the future (and your agreement is not formalised) your ex may make a claim to it. By formalising a consent order or binding financial agreement it is unlikely that any future application to the court would be successful.
I will protect my children from this dispute
Consider how your children are being affected; are they witnessing hostility between yourself and your ex, are they being used as carrier pigeons for information between Mum and Dad, or suffering as a result of your increased stress levels. Children are often more perceptive than we realise, be careful what they are exposed to.
I will look after myself during this process
Your relationship has failed, but you are not a failure. Don’t punish yourself. Get counselling, take a break, and don’t put pressure on yourself to resolve all of the issues right now, be realistic in your expectations.
We wish you all the best for your 2020.