Style Magazine

WORKING TOGETHER OVER THE HOLIDAYS

FIVE WAYS TO NEGOTIATE WITH YOUR EX-PARTNER ABOUT CHRISTMAS PARENTING ARRANGEMEN­TS

- Katherine Marshall SENIOR SOLICITOR AT BEST WILSON BUCKLEY FAMILY LAW

The lead up to Christmas is often difficult for both parents and children from separated families.

At times, negotiatin­g with your ex-partner about who will have the children over the Christmas period can seem like a minefield.

When both parents are not willing to compromise in relation to these arrangemen­ts and you are at a stalemate, sometimes lawyers can be of assistance.

However, just a warning, most law firms close over the Christmas and New Year break and are uncontacta­ble during this period.

If you are at an impasse with your ex-partner, the following strategies may be of assistance in arriving at a compromise that suits you, the other parent and, most of all, the children!

Keep calm

Whilst something that the other party may say could infuriate you or appear unreasonab­le in your eyes, remain calm!

Becoming angry often leads to the end of a negotiatio­n.

Offer an incentive

Sometimes the key to getting the other person over the line on a deal is to offer them an incentive or sweetener to take your proposal. People are more likely to accept an outcome if there is something in it for them.

Compromise

Negotiatin­g successful­ly can often require you to think outside the box and come up with creative solutions to resolve the dispute.

Just remember that in a negotiatio­n, the outcome might not be either parent’s ideal option.

As lawyers we don’t ask our clients to necessaril­y be happy with the compromise­d deal, we just ask you to be able to live with it if it means a resolution for you and the children.

Let the other person speak

Negotiatio­ns often fail where one party does not feel heard or listened to.

So if the other parent appears itching to say something and fully explain their reasons for their position, let them.

Without feeling heard, most parents will not agree to a compromise­d solution.

Know your argument

Sometimes it is useful to do a pros and cons list as to why your proposal is better for the children than the other parent’s.

After you have let the other parent state their case, state yours — but do so with solid arguments underpinni­ng your proposal. At the end of the day, you (to some degree) need to convince the other parent of the merits of your proposal.

By adopting some of the above negotiatio­n strategies you may have some success in navigating the Christmas period on your own.

If all else fails and you are an existing client of Best Wilson Buckley, we do have an emergency mobile number that you are able to contact for some advice ask your family lawyer or one of our team to find out more.

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