Sunday Herald Sun - Body and Soul

Check-up Grooming 10 Hot topic Nutrition 13 Stars Q&A Tiffiny Hall Public Relations

From social-media etiquette to other vexing issues of a personal nature, clinical psychologi­st answers questions from readers looking for expert advice


My ex has been “liking” and commenting on my Instagram posts. We have always been friendly and I know it’s nothing more than what it is. But my partner doesn’t like it and keeps asking me to unfriend him and cut all communicat­ion. I don’t want to because we have mutual friends and it would raise more questions. What should I do?

It’s tricky when a new partner isn’t comfortabl­e with your contact with an ex. Social media has made this issue bigger than ever. The most important thing is to try to understand what’s going on for your partner and for him to understand how you feel. Obviously, you have explained that there are no residual feelings between you and your ex. And I’m assuming you know for a fact that your ex is not still in love with you and that there

Jo Lamble isn’t any chance he is trying to stay connected for another reason.

Does your partner show any other signs of jealousy? You need to be careful; it’s easy to set up a jealousy cycle, when one person is jealous of any contact with a “suspicious” person. If you constantly reassure a jealous partner, their relief is short-lived and the need to check that everything is above board gets stronger and stronger. And if we feel like we’re not trusted, it can feel controllin­g and start to erode the intimacy in a relationsh­ip.

But if your partner is only concerned about this one guy, finding out why and having an honest conversati­on may help you come to a mutual agreement.

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