HOW I MAKE IT WORK...
Singer Marcia Hines on being a teenage mother.
When I found out I was pregnant in 1970, I was surprised. Very surprised. I didn’t quite know what to do, but I was always brought up knowing there are consequences to the things you do. I’ve always loved children, so for me it was easy [but] I do not condone teenage pregnancy – when you become a mother, you are no longer a teenager.
I didn’t care if there was a stigma around teen pregnancy. You have to decide whether other people are going to control your life or if you’re going to. At a very early age, I controlled my own life. My mother was the only person I cared about and she accepted it. When I told my mum, she said, “Do what you can and if you can’t cope, bring the baby home [to Boston] and I’ll help you out.”
I was onstage the night I had my daughter, Deni. I was back onstage nine days later. When Deni was born, she had me all day, and a nanny when I went to work. Eventually my mother came to live with us; I was blessed with good people around me.
Motherhood taught me selflessness. You could be dressed to the nines, ready to go out and they would vomit all over you. It teaches you so much more about yourself than you’d ever know. Those women who want to have children should go and do it. And those women who don’t want to? That’s fine, too.
I was surprised when Deni followed me into the music industry. We sang at home a lot, but I thought she wanted to be a coroner. Music was an integral part of our home, so she decided to do that. She has such a beautiful voice, one of the most unique voices I’ve ever heard.
I didn’t give her any advice when she started out. She’s my daughter; do you think she’s going to listen to me? Anybody who has a daughter will know what I’m talking about…
The older your daughter gets, the better you communicate. The teen years
are rough. The older Deni gets, the more she realises how hard it is to be a parent. We do all we can. My relationship with Deni is really cool now; I like it. We are similar in a lot of ways.
Having Deni made me grow up quickly. I think all of the above is why I am the way I am. I wouldn’t change it for the world. I’ve only had one child, and I’m really glad that I did.