“I love trav­el­ling but I have bag­gage… lit­tle live bag­gage aged 3 and 10”

Sunday Herald Sun - Stellar - - Front Page -

Air­port PA: “Call­ing all busi­ness class pas­sen­gers and those trav­el­ling g with chil­dren to board first.” Oh, how dif­fer­ent the next 11 hours will be for those two sets of peo­ple!

I love ve trav­el­ling but didn’t get to do much of it in my 20s, so I’m try­ing to make e up for it now in my mid *cough* ough* late-30s, only this time I have bag­gage. Live bag­gage ge aged three and 10.

So this his is how our flight went.

Hour ur 1: We board first as in­structed. ructed. (I won­der why we e ac­tu­ally want the ex­tra time ime sit­ting on the plane with kids.) The flight is de­layed yed on the tar­mac.

Hour ur 2: Still on the ground. d. The kids have eaten ALL the snacks I packed ed for them. I am colour­ing ing Evie’s book fe­ro­ciously usly while she boots the seat at in front of her. My friend sug­gested bring­ing one lit­tle tle wrapped pressie for every ry hour of the flight to o avoid them spend­ing ng the en­tire time on n screens. Great parenting, ing, I thought. But Evie’s ie’s seat looks like Christ­mas hrist­mas morn­ing al­ready y and I have just one gift left t for when we are in the air. Hour 3: We’re in the air and I’ve al­ready given in to the ipad. I need Peppa pp Pig g like I’ve never needed her be­fore. Food ar­rives but the kids aren’t a hun­gry be­cause they over-snacke over-snacked. Hour 4: Kids are sud­denly sta starv­ing but we’ve missed lunch and din­ner din is four hours away. Chris is as asleep. Some­one sit­ting near us is fa farting. Hour 5: Peppa is still goi go­ing strong. My three-year-old’ three-year-old’s abil­ity to watch ep af­ter e ep de­serves a medal. Hour 6: Both kids stil still watch­ing screens. I thi think I could fi­nally watch Ha Han­nah Gadsby’s Nanette. I watc watch it in two-minute in­stal­men in­stal­ments as I keep stop­ping to rein rein­sert Evie’s ear­buds and take her to the toi­let for the 100t 100th time. She’s just in­trigued at the sound it makes an and never ac­tu­ally g goes. Hour 7: How the hell did my mu mum en­ter­tain me back b in the day wit with­out tech­nol­ogy? S SHE de­serves the m medal. And se­ri­ously, who is mak­ing that s smell? Hour 8: E Evie is knac knack­ered. She She’s been up since 4am 4am, but she re­fuses to sleep. In­stead she just wrig­gles and griz­zles, and in­sists on sit­ting on top of me. (There is lim­ited space given my grow­ing belly.) Chris is play­ing hang­man with Ol­lie.

Hour 9: Are we there yet? Please, for the love of hu­man­ity, are we there yet? Why is Aus­tralia so far from ev­ery­where?!

Hour 10: We cir­cle an ex­tra 30 min­utes as there’s no run­way free. As we pre­pare for land­ing, Evie falls asleep. Typ­i­cal.

Hour 11: Touch down. Clear cus­toms with a now sleepy three-year-old and a strangely wired 10-year-old and wait for lug­gage. Wait­ing. Wait­ing. Pram doesn’t ar­rive. We carry child and five bags to the car. Dressed for sum­mer. It’s 5oc and blow­ing a gale.

Hour 12: Ar­rive home to eight loads of wash­ing and four days of jet lag. Mum calls and asks, “How was the trip?” I re­ply, “It was amaz­ing, we want to go back.”

How quickly we’ve for­got­ten the pain. Al­ready plan­ning our next ad­ven­ture.

P.S. Nanette was bril­liant. Car­rie co-hosts The Project, 6.30pm week­nights on Net­work Ten, and Car­rie & Tommy, 3pm week­days on the Hit Net­work.

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