“I love travelling but I have baggage… little live baggage aged 3 and 10”
Airport PA: “Calling all business class passengers and those travelling g with children to board first.” Oh, how different the next 11 hours will be for those two sets of people!
I love ve travelling but didn’t get to do much of it in my 20s, so I’m trying to make e up for it now in my mid *cough* ough* late-30s, only this time I have baggage. Live baggage ge aged three and 10.
So this his is how our flight went.
Hour ur 1: We board first as instructed. ructed. (I wonder why we e actually want the extra time ime sitting on the plane with kids.) The flight is delayed yed on the tarmac.
Hour ur 2: Still on the ground. d. The kids have eaten ALL the snacks I packed ed for them. I am colouring ing Evie’s book ferociously usly while she boots the seat at in front of her. My friend suggested bringing one little tle wrapped pressie for every ry hour of the flight to o avoid them spending ng the entire time on n screens. Great parenting, ing, I thought. But Evie’s ie’s seat looks like Christmas hristmas morning already y and I have just one gift left t for when we are in the air. Hour 3: We’re in the air and I’ve already given in to the ipad. I need Peppa pp Pig g like I’ve never needed her before. Food arrives but the kids aren’t a hungry because they over-snacke over-snacked. Hour 4: Kids are suddenly sta starving but we’ve missed lunch and dinner din is four hours away. Chris is as asleep. Someone sitting near us is fa farting. Hour 5: Peppa is still goi going strong. My three-year-old’ three-year-old’s ability to watch ep after e ep deserves a medal. Hour 6: Both kids stil still watching screens. I thi think I could finally watch Ha Hannah Gadsby’s Nanette. I watc watch it in two-minute instalmen instalments as I keep stopping to rein reinsert Evie’s earbuds and take her to the toilet for the 100t 100th time. She’s just intrigued at the sound it makes an and never actually g goes. Hour 7: How the hell did my mu mum entertain me back b in the day wit without technology? S SHE deserves the m medal. And seriously, who is making that s smell? Hour 8: E Evie is knac knackered. She She’s been up since 4am 4am, but she refuses to sleep. Instead she just wriggles and grizzles, and insists on sitting on top of me. (There is limited space given my growing belly.) Chris is playing hangman with Ollie.
Hour 9: Are we there yet? Please, for the love of humanity, are we there yet? Why is Australia so far from everywhere?!
Hour 10: We circle an extra 30 minutes as there’s no runway free. As we prepare for landing, Evie falls asleep. Typical.
Hour 11: Touch down. Clear customs with a now sleepy three-year-old and a strangely wired 10-year-old and wait for luggage. Waiting. Waiting. Pram doesn’t arrive. We carry child and five bags to the car. Dressed for summer. It’s 5oc and blowing a gale.
Hour 12: Arrive home to eight loads of washing and four days of jet lag. Mum calls and asks, “How was the trip?” I reply, “It was amazing, we want to go back.”
How quickly we’ve forgotten the pain. Already planning our next adventure.
P.S. Nanette was brilliant. Carrie co-hosts The Project, 6.30pm weeknights on Network Ten, and Carrie & Tommy, 3pm weekdays on the Hit Network.