REGULARS Samantha Armytage
writes a poem reviewing 2018 – to a soundtrack of Billy Joel.
Santa’s nearly here, which means the Earth has nearly orbited the sun once again, which means it’s time to reflect on the good, the bad and the plain ol’ ugly in 2018.
If you will, please hum the following to ‘ We Didn’t n’t Start The Fire’ (with huge apologies logies to the inimitable genius Billy lly Joel).
Here we go…
Donny Trump, Comm Games; Red China, Cricket shame. me. Malcolm Turnbull, in the he can; Sco-mo says that he’s our man.
Data harvest, Facebook k dishin’; What a horror, Bank Commission. North Korea, South Korea; rea; Meg-han Mark-le.
Spice Girls back in song; g; Bieber married, for how w long? Thai boys, in a cave; 17 days, but they’re OK. .
ABC in a mess, Cosby jailed; ailed; Winx, the best. Blue Ivy, still a brat; Apple’s worth a trillion. .
5G, Weinstein, West Coast oast had a winning team. Stephen Hawking, what at a man; War still in Afghanistan. Lake on Mars, we’re in space; Bitcoin, fall from grace. Barnaby’s a naughty soul; Selfie at the Super Bowl.
Brexit, hey? Lost its way; What else do I have to say?
Horses on the Opera H House; Harry made a hand handsome spouse. Bunnings snags, o onion fail; Russians in your emails.
Swift and Perry end their quarrel; What you he hear? Yanny? Laurel? Saudi women w get to drive; Bour-dain, we m mourned a life.
Princ Prince Louis. Trolley man. Steve Smith, excessive e ban? Fortnite, K Kayne’s rants; What’s the go with Kim K’s pants pants?
Roosters win the t NRL; Players put Greenberg through hell. US sanctions i in Iran; That’s the end for rud rude Roseanne.
Aussie farmer farmers are in pain; Bloody count country, still no rain. Fires in LA and a Greece; climate change gives us n no peace.
Skripals poisoned i in UK; Irish women have t their say. Perth to London wh what a coup; Way to go, the Flying Roo.
A Star is Born, pass the tissues; Elon’s got a Tesla issue. Melbourne Cup, to a Pom; The Shape Of Water was the bomb.
The Soccer Cup, Vive la France; The Wallabies are on their arse. Our cricket team’s looking icky; Why the sticky near the dicky? China banging on our door. Obesity and sugar war; Kathy Griffin is a bore. I can’t take it anymore!!!
We didn’t start the fire… but we sure stoked it this year.
See you in 2019. Merry Christmas all.
Samantha co-hosts Sunrise, 5.30am weekdays, on the Seven Network.
“The Earth has nearly orbited the sun once again, which means it’s time to reflect on the good, the bad and the plain ol’ ugly in 2018”