Col­umn

Sunday Herald Sun - Stellar - - Contents -

Car­rie Bickmore.

W feele’ve been told for years that bricks and mor­tar shops are dead, but I am on a mis­sion to bring back old-school shop­ping. pp g The type of spend­ing where e you can the clothes you are e buy­ing and have a shop as­sis­tant tell you how good your butt looks squeezed into an ill­fit­ting pair of jeans.

I re­alise that I’ll be lead­ing this charge alone given Aussies spend more than $27 bil­lion a year shop­ping on­line, but how many of those items are they ac­tu­ally happy with?

I hit peak on­line shop­ping ad­dic­tion when my third child was a few months hs old. I would wake up in the morn­ing af­ter a long night breast­feed­ing, there’d be 50 tabs open on my phone and dozens of items sit­ting in shop­ping carts. Many times s those items had been mind­lessly lessly pur­chased. I re­mem­ber one e morn­ing walk­ing to the front ont door bleary eyed to see the post­man stand­ing there with th four boxes. “De­liv­ery for Car­rie,” rrie,” he said. “Yes,” I an­swered with a mix of guilt and con­fu­sion. n. Low and be­hold, in my sleep- de­prived haze I’d or­dered four pairs of the same sneaker in two dif­fer­ent sizes. How? Why? y Now I had to find the tim time to go up to the post of­fice an and re­turn them all. Then there was the time I or­dered bathers on­line af­ter b be­ing sucked in by an In­sta ad – $14.99 per pair. Bar­gain! I bought five of them; an in­ter­est­ing move given I hadn’t been out of track­ies in months. The bathers ar­rived and the five pairs needed to be stitched to­gether just to cover my left breast. The bot­toms were so small I had to palm them off to my 13-year-old niece. Noth­ing ever fits and the ef ef­fort and ex­pense that’s re­quired re to re­turn them is in­cred­i­bly inc frus­trat­ing. Even E food shop­ping is fraught with dan­ger. Af­ter the birth of our baby, my part­ner Chris sug­gested we do our ou weekly gro­cery shop on­line. Couldn’t Co be that hard, could it? Every­one Everyo else seems to do it. But be­tween the time it took to up­date my list each week, the de­liv­ery de­lays and the th num­ber of items they never seemed seeme to have in stock, it was prov­ing to be a gi­ant pain in the back­side.

My last or­der I thought I’d bought three squash, but ac­tu­ally or­dered three ki­los of squash. Now what the hell can you cook with three ki­los of squash? It’s a light­weight vegie at the best of times. There were no beef pat­ties in stock so they were sub­sti­tuted with ve­gan burg­ers. I’m guess­ing a veg­e­tar­ian packer was

“I thought I’d bought three squash, but ac­tu­ally or­dered three ki­los of squash. What the hell can you cook with that?”

try­ing to send me a mes­sage? And I for­got I al­ready had eggs, so now have 36 eggs to play with. Squash frit­tata any­one? I am start­ing to think maybe I am the prob­lem.

So it’s back to the shop­ping cen­tre I go. If you hap­pen to see a mum with a pram do­ing laps of the lo­cal mall… It’s prob­a­bly me.

Car­rie co-hosts The Project, 6.30pm week­nights on Net­work 10, and Car­rie & Tommy, 3pm week­days on the Hit Net­work.

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