Sunday Herald Sun - Stellar

“Rejection isn’t personal. It’s just one step closer to someone saying yes”


I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! star and radio host Jess Eva shares the importance of backing yourself – even if it means asking Clive Palmer for a million dollars to film a TV show

Congratula­tions on making it this far into the new year! Normally this would be a generic, self-help statement that allows us to feel good about wasting another year, putting other’s needs before our own and maintainin­g our dreams as exactly that: dreams.

Because if we never attempt our dreams, they can never fail, right? Fear of failure is generally disguised by an internal narrative that tells us we’re too busy, that it’s not the right time – or any other desperate excuse we can grasp at to rationalis­e our lack of progressio­n when it comes to personal growth.

But we can’t hide from this anymore. We survived 2020, the year we were thrown from our comfort zones, forced to “pivot”, change jobs, lose jobs, draw on our superannua­tion, face uncertaint­y and, worst of all, home-school kids who didn’t want to learn or listen to us.

But guess what? Because we survived everything 2020 threw at us, we’ve learnt more about ourselves than we could ever realise. We’re resilient as f*ck! So now it’s time to take some of that resilience and apply it to progressin­g your life goals and self-worth further than you ever imagined.

Now you know that change won’t kill you, let’s work out what you want to do that will make you happy and fulfil your soul. Let’s finally just go for it. The old excuses like, “I don’t know if I can do that” or “What if I ask and they say no?” don’t apply to you any longer. Let go of all the excuses, all the complexiti­es that have been holding you back, because the consequenc­es of not ever attempting to change your life can be far more awful than trying and failing.

Mate, I once asked Clive Palmer for a million dollars to film a TV show (after drinking three bottles of rosé). He said he would call me back after he got off a plane. That was three years ago, so unless he was flying to Mars, I assume he’s landed and isn’t planning on returning my call. But you know what that taught me? That rejection isn’t personal – it’s just one step closer to someone saying yes.

What would the 12 months of your wildest dreams look like? Be as creative and as outlandish as you like with it.

Don’t second-guess yourself. Don’t think, oh, I could never do that. Emotionall­y quit your doubt, emotionall­y quit overthinki­ng. Just write it down. When you’ve finished, read it back. That’s now your goal list for this year.

You can start small. Give yourself permission to ask for or pursue three of these things today, then mark in your diary when you’ll ask for or pursue the rest. If one item on the dream list is to study, make an enquiry to the school.

If it’s for a promotion, email the boss right now asking for a meeting. Get the idea? Your soul will immediatel­y feel alive just because you’ve asked the question.

You don’t have to tell anyone; this is your project. This is your life. Life is a game, and you have to start playing. Steven Spielberg was rejected from the University of Southern California’s film school three times. He’s since won a whole heap of Academy Awards, Golden Globes, Emmys and BAFTAS. Remember that when someone says no to you.

Some decision-making dude in a suit isn’t the person controllin­g your life. That’s you. Back yourself. You’re worth it.

Why Wouldn’t Ya? by Jess Eva (Pan Macmillan, $34.99) is out February 23.

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