Who saved the world? The Butler did it
Donovan Marsh (Avenged) Gerard Butler, Gary Oldman, Common, Michael Nyqvist, Linda Cardellini
you’ve got a big, dumb action movie to make, and no leading man to front the blasted thing.
Mark Wahlberg wants too much money. Jason Statham is just too busy. So who you gonna call?
Gerard Butler, that’s who. The burly surly Brit of 300, Olympus Has Fallen and Geostorm fame has always been everyone’s third choice when it comes to two-bit packages of explosions, executions and expletives.
Butler almost always gets the job done, if only for his proven ability to keep a straight face when the going gets bent and stays that way.
So it goes for Hunter Killer, a supremely stoo-pid underwater thriller in which Butler plays Joe Glass, a maverick US submarine captain whose narky nous somehow steers the planet away from a head-on collision with World War III.
Square of jaw, hard of head and completely bereft of personality, Glass is the kind of guy who just won’t crack under any kind of pressure.
That’s him pouting at radar screens and coolly barking orders at nervous, sweaty minions from beneath an iceberg in Russian-controlled waters.
Meanwhile, above ground, the Russkies are midways through a regime overthrow that could trigger nuclear fireworks.
Make no mistake, this is one kooky, kooky coup. The Russian army has lured the President out of Moscow to a coastal hideout conveniently located within listening and looking distance for the Americans.
This Russian President is no Vladimir Putin, and remains completely oblivious to his generals’ obvious interest in seizing power until they shoot all of his security detail.
Before you can say “suicide mission”, it becomes the job of Glass and his team to rescue the roughed-up and rattled Russian Prez, and restore him to the top job.
Just so we don’t get too claustrophobic after being cooped up inside a crowded submarine for too long, there are regular cutaways back to Washington DC, where America’s military elite are losing their lunch over Glass’s unorthodox decision-making techniques.
It all makes no sense whatsoever, but Hunter Killer may possibly make your day if madcap mindless escapism is what you really need.
GLOBAL WARNING: Joe Glass (played by Gerard Butler, left) keeps an eye on things in Hunter Killer.