NEWS FEATURE FRONTIER
DARWIN parents Jacqueline O’Reilly and Shaun Gill are taking a risk this Mother’s Day — they are going out for breakfast.
If it doesn’t happen, it won’t be the first time they’ve missed out on occasions like this because of their autistic son Jacob.
They haven’t taken a family holiday because they can’t go on a plane, and something as simple as grocery shopping can be a daunting task.
But Jacqueline wouldn’t have it any other way.
Jacob, 7, wasn’t diagnosed until he was almost three and it took just one hour with a specialist to confirm it.
“He’s very big and strong, has difficultly regulating his behaviour and, if he’s in an environment where he’s overstimulated, rather than leaving the space, he’ll start rolling around on the floor,” Jacqueline said.
Both of her sons, Joe, 9, and Jacob were born in Darwin, but they moved to the Red Centre when Jacob was three months old.
They have since returned to Darwin and Jacob attends Nemarluk School for children with special needs. He is involved with the Palmerston Rugby Union Club so he can be part of the community.
“The biggest joy is those mornings on the weekend when you stand in the kitchen and ... you can hear two children playing outside, they are happy and it’s just a calm, beautiful and idyllic environment,” Jacqueline said.
“Those moments make me appreciate all the hard times and you feel stupid, but you’re standing at the sink crying because you’re just so happy to see something so beautiful happening.
“Joe is very amazing – he has a very caring, tolerant nature and he’s proud of Jacob’s achievements.”
She said living with an autistic child could be isolating, but interacting with other people and Autism NT was supportive.
“I’ve had a woman walk up to me in the shopping centre while Jacob was having a tantrum and she stood there with her autistic son and all she said was, ‘I’m going to stand here and have a normal conversation with you while your son calms down and figures out how he’s feeling’, and she just stood there,” Jacqueline said.
“She knew we couldn’t man handle him out of there or sit down and talk to him, she knew we had to stand there so Jacob knew he was safe.
“It’s amazing these women are out there to support each other in the smallest ways. They are beautiful moments and they happen at the oddest times. That’s how we survive.”
Jacqueline works full time but is also involved in raising awareness for children with autism.
“I want people to know that these kids will turn into adults and it’s how they live, and just because they can’t regulate their behaviour, it doesn’t make them bad people,” she said.
SOMETIMES motherhood comes in a roundabout way. Sue Price has played a maternal role to many children in the Territory through the foster care system over the last decade. While many kids joined Sue, her husband John, and their two children, Kirri, 13, and Lachlan, 10, for only a short time in respite care, the Price family always made sure they would be remembered in their family.
“In about 11 years we’ve only forgotten to take a photo of about two,” Sue said. “It’s very important to us. “It’s a record of lots of family. “It began when we first started and we took a family photo
with the two young boys we had.
“We thought ‘these children are part of our family and some aren’t going to be part of it for long so it would be nice to have a record of them’.
“Every now and then we’ll go through the photos and it brings back lots of lovely memories for our children.
“For some they were too young to remember, so John and I can then look through and give them some memories of those children.”
Sue always loved children and spent her youth surrounded by them, even though she only had one brother. She went on to become a kindergarten teacher, but
having her own two children was a difficult journey.
Kirri was conceived through IVF and it changed their lives.
“After Kirri was born, both John and I held on to her and said ‘we get to keep this one.’ When you’re looking after other people’s kids you’re always giving them back,” Sue said.
But following two miscarriages, they decided it was time to welcome other children into their family through foster caring.
It was just after their paperwork was finalised that they conceived Lachlan naturally.
These days Mother’s Day looks a little different for the Price family – it isn’t just a day to spoil Sue.
The family have a young indigenous girl in their care long term, who is learning about new traditions.
“When she came to us she was an indigenous child from the bush, so Mother’s Day was a new experience to her, as were most of our cultural celebrations,” Sue said. “It was lovely to watch her learn our culture and she gets very excited, so do my two kids.”
Sue said this year she just wanted to spend a relaxed day with her ever-changing and growing family to celebrate Mother’s Day.