Vietnam
STORY JOHN BARKER
There are six million motorbikes in Ho Chi Minh City. Not that I counted. But this is the figure quoted by our effervescent guide Mr Minh as we drive to our hotel from Tan Son Nhat Airport and, judging from the number of Honda, Suzuki and Yamahas swirling around our mini-van, I have no reason to doubt him.
Motorbikes are as ubiquitous to the city of Saigon as red crabs are to Christmas Island. They flow like an endless river – tooting, dodging and weaving with the surprisingly chilled drivers often loaded up with families, fruit, chickens, dogs, planks of wood and almost anything you can think of (and a few things that would never cross your mind).
“Where are they all going?” asks a passenger, mesmerised by the swath of humanity passing within centimetres of the window.
Mr Minh sighs heavily. It is, he says, the question everyone asks him, and he follows it with the same answer delivered with a nonchalant shrug of the shoulders, “I don’t know”.
Neither do I, but such is the profound presence of motorbikes in Vietnam’s largest city that to really immerse yourself in the landscape one feels compelled to jump on a bike and get among it. When in Rome ...
There are a number of options when it comes to two-wheeled tours in a city of nine million people. There are restaurant tours, historical tours, night tours, street food tours and so on. Whichever one you choose you will be guaranteed an exhilarating time.
We’re travelling with APT and are offered a two-hour tour of city landmarks – including the Notre Dame Cathedral, Central Post Office, Ben Thanh Markets, Thien Hau Temple and the Reunification Palace – that enables us to get our bearings in a city comprising 19 different districts (most of the landmarks are located centrally in District 1) and spend some time at each location to receive a brief historical/social overview from the multi-tasking Mr Minh.
There are a few nerves among the group of two dozen or so people who are divided in to smaller groups before setting out.
But once helmets are fitted and introductions to drivers are done, there’s no turning back and it’s time to hop to it, hop on and go with the flow.
The drivers are all experienced and my driver Mr Tung is as relaxed as a hammock at the beach.
I take actor Bill Murray’s words to heart – “The more relaxed you are, the better you are at everything” and Mr Tung is certainly good at what he does. He overtakes other bikes on the inside lane, has a chat at stop lights and points out sites of interest, all while negotiating his way through cars, motorbikes, bicycles and pedestrians.
As fellow travellers and morning commuters whiz past us, I feel like a character in a Mario Kart video game.
Thankfully though it’s not a race and before long I’m as relaxed as Mr Tung, taking photos and video from the pillion position as we motor along parallel to the Saigon River.
Despite the apparent two-stroke anarchy on the streets of Ho Chi Minh City, where three bookable offences (not wearing a helmet, having headlights on during the day and, most puzzlingly, excessive honking) are brazenly flaunted by the general populace, the traffic somehow moves like a well-oiled machine, and being a sum of its parts proves an immensely enjoyable morning out.