Bushranger

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Working holiday

CHIEF Minister Michael Gunner is taking a victory lap of the country this weekend, including catch-ups with Rich Dude Malcolm Turnbull and Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews. He also worked the room at the AFL’s Big Dance at the MCG. It was, he says, strictly business. “The AFL grand final is a great opportunity to talk to Adelaide Crows officials about the establishment of the AFL Women’s League ...” he said. Get real mate.

Bushranger reckons it’s poor form to talk business on September’s most important day. The only interruptions allowed during the GF should be to join the beer queue.

Blondes have more fun

POLITICS is a high-stress business. Years in the pressure-cooker environment can make pollies age beyond their years. But not, it seems, former federal member Natasha Griggs. While enjoying lunch with her dad yesterday a former constituent came up to say hi. “Hello Natasha, I was in your office yesterday,” she said. “Oh really, where?” Mrs Griggs responded, confused, since she hasn’t had an office for months now. When the constituent said Ms Grigg’s office was at Nightcliff, the penny dropped. She’d been mistaken for local MLA Natasha Fyles. “I must say I feel flattered to be mistaken for a 30-something brunette — especially that I am a 40-something blonde,” Mrs Griggs concluded.

Mexican rations

BURRITO fans of Darwin would have needed a sick day to recover from the shock of the Mexican chain Zambrero’s now weighing their most popular menu item. Burritos have almost halved in size in recent weeks. Perhaps the scrooges are trying to control costs. Maybe they’ll justify the downsized burritos on a “quality not quantity” rationale.

Bushranger once gorged as many as three of the $14 burritos a week. But since the burrito mafia have been cracking the whip, we’re saying Zambre-no.

Teething problems

MACKAY council made headlines this week after voting to ban fluoride from the city’s waterways. Local dentists there are chuffed with the decision. But closer to home a number of totally sane, not crazy at all, definitely smart Palmerston residents want the satellite city to go fluoride-free. “Would be good if we didn’t have to drink neurotoxins,” one said.

Moral foundations

”SLUSH fund” director Graeme Lewis is, it would seem, a bit of a prude. Lewis took offence this week when Crikey blogger Bob Gosford posted a link on Facebook to works from Therese Ritchie’s new exhibition, titled: Blacks in the back, c***s in the front. The exhibition was, incidentally, “proudly sponsored by the Northern Territory Government”. Lewis piped up: “Don’t need this kind of stuff on Facebook”. Bushranger was a bit puzzled at Lewis’ seemingly new-found phobia of foul language. He once abruptly began a correspondence with NT News political reporter Christopher Walsh with the line: “you’re a f***ing grub Walsh”.

Any takers?

THE build-up is an unpleasant time. To survive, the aircon gets cranked up to maxi- mum, cold beer needs to be kept close at hand, and ceiling fans need to be turned up to “helicopter”. With the wet season looming, Darwin local Mark Walker has advertised his sauna for sale. “Just what everyone needs in the build-up in Darwin,” he says in his ad. Personally, Bushranger reckons saunas are only suitable for the dry season. In any case, Mark was fielding bids in the form of Coopers Pale Ale and Wild Turkey. The sauna comes as is, where is.

Ahoy!

ABC brekky producer and former NT News hack Conor Byrne spent weeks building a questionably seaworthy yacht, the SS Opposition, out of discarded election corflutes. It’s since spent some time on display in the Territory Library. Long-time political animal Scrumpy the dog paid it a visit last week.

Bushranger is told Scrumpy, out of respect to her fellow former candidates, refrained from pissing on the corflutes.

Lefty media

A FEW humble scribes from Darwin’s leftleaning media were sitting in court this week, jotting away notes about children who had been tear-gassed: The Guardian’s Helen Davidson, and Aunty’s Lucy Marks and Steven Schubert. When Bushranger inquired why they hadn’t availed themselves of the aeroplane-style fold out desks in the front row of the court. Schubert, with tongue somewhere near cheek said: “We’re all lefties, it’s kind of a prerequisite for getting a job at the ABC. I can’t speak for The Guardian though”. He meant, of course, that they were left-handed, and the design of the courtroom desks make things a bit tricky.