Bushranger
Blowin’ in the wind
The cyclone season is coming. If the wind is at your back, it makes for easy cycling. At least Bushranger thinks that’s what one local bike shop was getting at with their homemade billboard.
Spelling it out
MICK Gooda and Margaret White’s Royal Commission started in earnest this week. The whole thing is being diligently transcribed by old-fashioned stenographers, who sit in court and type away at a mile-aminute. But, evidently, the Territory can be a tough place for spelling things out, especially in the heat of the moment: the transcript referred to the towns of “Calgaringi”, “Numbuwa” and “Nuyu”. Bushranger reckons “Kalkarindji”, “Numbulwar” and “Naiyu” might make their way to a post-it note on the stenographer’s desk.
The ABCs of policing
A DRAMATIC crime scene played out last weekend in the city. A young girl was seen bolting across Nichols Place towards the bus interchange, clutching a handbag, looking back over her shoulder at a woman who was giving chase. A few keen-eyed ABC staffers saw the whole thing unfold through their glass-fronted office windows. Ex-army studio director Dave Miles joined the chase, closely followed by reporter and newsreader Nadia Daly, camera in hand. Mr Miles made the would-be crim give the handbag back to its rightful owner. “What a dude, all in a day’s work,” Ms Daly said. Bushranger understands the woman giving chase was Lisa Richards, owner of swimwear shop Splash, and that the handbag had a few hundred bucks worth of brazenly stolen bikinis.
Trump card
THE Northern Territory Parliament will sit again this week, following a long hiatus. There’ll be some maiden speeches, and probably not much else. Bushranger reckons the new Government should follow the lead of the New South Wales Parliament, which passed a motion declaring, Donald Trump a “revolting slug”. Bushranger thinks Michael Gunner and Co should settle on a description that has a bit more of a Territory flavour, perhaps: “Gammon brus”.
Swipe card to the city
ALICE Springs council aren’t ones for pomp and ceremony, it seems. Mayor Damien Ryan told ABC Local Radio this week: “There’s no keys to the city of Alice Springs — but we could give you a swipe card”.
Overheard on Mitchell St
“HEY bro, I don’t want to start anything, but I think your brother slept with my mum.”
Work wanted ...
JOBS can be hard to come by at the moment. One local jobseeker put a “work wanted” ad in yesterday’s NT News classifieds, offering $1000 for any employment consultant who could get him a job – $500 now and $500 after three months. It came with some conditions though: “Places I won’t work but: sporting clubs, brothels, drug houses, Channel Nine, mango farms, seven eleven & hot chicken shops”.
Snappy southerners
BRISBANE locals are freaking out. Local rag the Courier Mail reported this week that saltwater crocs have been sighted less than 300km from the Queensland capital. Boffins have put warning signs up around Hervey Bay. One theory is the crocs are migrating south. Another is that locals are just reporting the prehistoric beasts more often. Either way, Tasmania seems more and more appealing for Bushranger’s next seaside holiday.
Top cops
AT the police awards on Friday night, 12 officers were awarded for their work on smash hit TV show, Territory Cops. It’s hard enough enforcing the law, let alone doing the same with a camera crew in tow. Of course, no amount of official recognition can top what Senior Constable Seumas Christie-Johnston, went through last year, with viewers describing him as an unofficial sex symbol. Not only is he a dreamboat, a TV star and a good cop, he’s humble. He told the Daily Telegraph earlier in the year: “I’m sure there are plenty of better looking cops out there than me, but I’ll take the compliment.”
Wish you weren’t here
IT’S not the nicest time of year to be in Darwin, let’s face it. But one grumpy tourist seems to have had a particularly lousy time in town. In an online review of top-notch East Point restaurant, the South Aussie tourist, going by the name “Varietal” said: “Cruising the East Point area trying to soo ‘everything’ before returning to Adelaide. Spotted the Pee Wee sign and drove in to check it out. Drove right out as it looked so dismal”. Pee Wee’s management, exercising restraint responded: “Thank you for taking the time to review our establishment. Your drive through the car park must have been the highlight of your trip to the NT.” They continued: “Next time you are up from South Australia I’m sure there are many exciting things for you to see that you don’t have in SA. Like electricity.”