Bushranger
Collective nouns
PARLIAMENT went back this week, and as Bushranger predicted, there were many maiden speeches and not a whole lot else. Plenty of people rocked up for the pomp and ceremony. Speaker Kezia Purick took a pic
ture of the Top End’s four mayors, Katrina
Fong-Lim, Ian Abbott, Fay Miller and Maree Bredhauer, and asked “Collection of council mayors is called a what?” Bushranger put the question out to consultation, and despite some unprintable responses, thinks most appropriate collective noun is a “business” of mayors. That’s also the collective noun for ferrets.
In the navy, so to speak
AT a recent navy function, one of Bush
ranger’s spies was trying to track down an acquaintance. We’ll call her Sarah. A retired general provided an update: “Sarah is making her way through the navy guys now,” he said. It was all completely innocent though, Sarah was just walking through a group of sailors.
Red alert over laksa
DARWIN was thrown into crisis this week when it emerged a laksa stall had poisoned more than a dozen customers. Health department boffins went to great lengths to describe the symptoms people should look out for. Put simply, if something left your body – from any orifice and it looked like – laksa, you’ve been struck down.
Worst ‘toastie’ ever
ON Thursday, Gable Tostee was found not guilty of murder, after he locked his Tinder date out on the balcony and she fell to her death. Turns out, that’s neither murder nor manslaughter. The case has drawn international headlines. Locally, Tostee’s story has been in the NT News, Nine News and on the ABC, where newsreader James Oaten pronounced ol’ mate’s name “Toastie”.
Media Watch that!
ON Monday, Bushranger’s least favourite show Media Watch dedicated a good chunk of its show to talking about how the “scary clown” phenomenon was all a giant hoax. But just a few hours later, Rodney Nolan was thrown into a paddy wagon at McDonald’s in Coolalinga. He was released after sobering up. In the harsh light of day, Nolan said: “I want everyone to know I’m a friendly clown, not one of those evil clowns.” The joke, it turns out, is on Paul Barry.
Bright start to Cabinet
NEW minister Dale Wakefield left Thursday night’s Parliament media drinks function early. Just after 7pm, Wakefield told reporters she had Cabinet papers to read in her office and couldn’t hang around. Most of the journos in attendance were stunned. She’s actually reading the Cabinet papers? That’s already a marked change from several ministers in the previous government.
Social skills updated
CAMDEN Smith, former NT News reporter, is now working for Leader of the Opposition
Gary Higgins. And while the CLP may have been dead against the sharing economy in government, considering its steadfast attempts to block Uber from setting up shop in the Territory, it seems Cam is keen to tap into the skills and experience of locals. He posted on Facebook page Darwin NT Buy,
Sell, Swap and Wanted offering $30 for someone to “help upskilling social media for professional purposes”. Stand by for the launch of Gary’s new MySpace page.
Lookin’ good, Jeff
A POLITICIAN’S first day in parliament is a big thing. The new pollies get to give a speech thanking their family and friends and all those who helped then get elected. New MLA for Fong Lim Jeff Collins found time to also thank his Crossfit instructor in his maiden speech too, so there’s that.
Egg meets face
BUSHRANGER learned a thing or two about stones and glass houses this week when independent Member for Nelson Gerry Wood called up to point out that while gently poking fun at Royal Commission stenographers for their misspelling of Nauiyu as Nuyu,
Bushranger last week misspelled the name of the town as Naiyu.
Workin’ for the man
FORMER A-G Johan Elferink has a new gig. He’s taken up a solicitor job at College Park Law in Adelaide’s inner northern suburbs. The Elf’s personal circumstances were awkwardly aired recently at the Royal Commission, when his Sydney silk Andrew Harris,
QC, told Mick Gooda and Margaret White he’d burnt through his $57,753 one-off allowance for a lawyer to represent him at the commission. The Elf, Mr Harris said, was too skint to cover his ongoing costs. Bushranger has nothing but praise for any ex-pollie who’s willing to work for a crust.