Bushranger
Well, there’s that ...
Looking on the bright side of a recent jail break at the ol’ Don Dale amusement park, Chief Minister Michael Gunner reminded people things aren’t really so bad under a Labor Government. He raised the grim spectre of Eddie Horrell, a convict who escaped from a prison work release program in 2015 under the CLP Government. “We have not had a situation under Labor where an axemurdering rapist has been on the loose,” he said. Fair point.
Nailed it!
Darwin tarot card reader Manfred Zander has many doubters. Earlier this year he predicted, among other things, that Rick Nolan and the boys at St Mary’s would bring home the NTFL flag. He also said: “There will be a lot of talking and planning but not a lot of doing”. So far, so good. He also predicted
Michael Gunner would be ousted by an unnamed “dark haired woman”. It could be a long nine months.
Short and sweet
Bushranger’s favourite former polly, Nata
sha Griggs revealed on Facebook she had been reading a book called “The Four Year Career”. Rumour is that her predecessor
Luke Gosling is working on a political biography of the same title
Haters gonna hate
Honorary Darwinian Lee De Paauw, who was attacked by a croc in Queensland, enjoyed a meeting of the minds this week when he was interviewed by former Nine
News Darwin blondie Zara “Ratz” Rattue. He confessed he’d had “about 10 cups of goon" before going for a swim in the croc-infested Johnstone River at Innisfail. Ratz asked him: “Do you understand that most of the country thinks that you’re one of the stupidest people around right now? What’s your response to that?” De Paauw said: “Haters gonna hate”.
Expoosive!
NT News boss Matt Williams is best contacted by text message (0428 NTNEWS). He regularly receives story feedback, poems, insults, and general observations about the world, and he dutifully publishes them on the NT News letters page each day. Two gems came through this week: “WTF? SOMEONE SHIT IN A SHOPPING TROLLEY AT NORTHLAKES AND LEFT IT THERE,” said one. The other: “will.i.am, possibly the modern day Mozart”.
Could have been worse
Speaking of our AFL and horse-racing fanatic boss, Williams took park in his paper’s 2016/17 NTFL season tipping competition. Keen followers of the tips will note he came second last ... beating only the “kiss of death”.
Happy snaps
It was claimed in Parliament this week that the Dark Prince of Don Dale Dylan Voller “photobombed” former Labor corrections minister and current Housing Minister Gerry
McCarthy last week in Alice Springs. The photo, which shows a smiling Mr McCarthy posing under a tree with an uncomfortable-looking Vol ler,wa snot arranged, AttorneyGeneral Nat ash aFyl es told Parliament .“I understand the Minister — to use a modernday term — was photobombed,” she said. No explanation on why Gerry was posing under that tree all by himself. Others have speculated on whose reputation was most harmed by the “photobomb”.
The $53,000 question
It’s been a big week for Justice Judith Kelly. She’s copped it from both sides for giving four kids $53,000 in damages for their treatment in the Don Dale amusement park. One
punter wrote: “Ice dealers of Darwin rejoice!!! $53k of Don Dale compo money heading your way”. Unfortunately for the ice dealers, the smart money is on the kids losing the lot in costs.
No comment required
Here’s some lighter reading from the Supreme Court archives, presented without comment: “I have to say that all of you young people ran horrendous risks mixing excessive alcohol consumption with group sexual activity and imprudent sleeping arrangements.”
Not a bar
The Spice Garden restaurant in Nightcliff is applying for a booze license, which involves negotiating the usual maze of licensing boffins. One proposed condition: “The use of the word “Bar” will not be used in any signage.
Franz Kafka would approve.
Debbie does ... ahh, Cairns
Things are not looking good in north Queensland, as Cyclone Debbie gets ready to dump it’s load (of rain) in Cairns and Townsville. Bushranger wishes the cyclone had formed over Darwin, purely for the jokes that could be made about the 1978 cinematic masterpiece starring Bambi Woods.